Ms.heng

I am waiting for your good news next week ya…

Doris,

yup, got mad service everyday, cleaning up the house, if u left ur clothes in basket, she will help u to do the laundry and iron the clothes

Kenson Peh,

must get more from them lo…coz they less ppl ma

Chi Mien,

erm, the food here too much to eat.. so i gain weight dy..

Sky,

try think carefully if u really wan come over, if u not happy with ur job now, then u change is ok, but no wor, u r not happy and no sad wor

Sim,

is ur choice lor, never offer me also, haih

ChenYee,

beijing is quite good to work in, good exposure, many expats are there…

Coconut,

okie…go earn more $$$ then die, then i inherit all…okie?

Hoi Leong,

good lor, ur dream, marry in china

Kwok Siang,

but will u hav difficulties in reading chinese?..

Cindy,

if they provide accomodation, the shlf pay at least Rm7k, it’s up to u….if u r going for the experience in working overseas…n short time, then it could be good, but try not longer than 1 yr, just go china for 1 yr for experience…then come back m’sia to get better job here with better pay

Woo,

winter no need to bath so often… haha, i havent bath for 10 days

Kenson Koh,

then u can save alot of money lo…

Sidney,

go lah if u think is worth to try since u still young n no burden

Li San,

everyone is looking for a better one always, u just go there for work, why not give yourself a try, is very attractive ler

Show Sin,

just go ahead lo, if any decision, dun care us la, ur life is more important ma

I remember i was given the same choice about 4 months back.
I made the decision for SG.
And now today, I am here in SG. Am glad (thank god), I was offered by CIS (with Doris strong recommendation) to rejoin and based in Beijing.
Thought for this for one whole week already. Have not make decision but i know the voice inside me are prompting me to go for a try.
And I guess, most probably am going.
For the same reason, I did something which is out of my control. I befriend with him again. I am really no use
Promised that there is no point of return but… I started to act out of mind when I messaged him again
And then i even chose this pic for MSN avatar! I’m totally out of my mind!
But its all happen for one reason. Am leaving soon

Will return KL tonite. To see what parents and sister said.
Sister concern if i can adapt to the chinese environment there, which i guess is not a problem, as there are many Malaysian working there too.

Many advised me to list the pro and cons. Here it is…

Pros
====
1) Good exposure – working with different ppl, in a new working and living environment.
2) Earn more and save more – not too high pay but consider good. Heard that will be able to save a lot, and I hope to save a sum of money to pay downpayment of a house in two years time.
3) More challenging job – this is a definite. Worked in CIS before. The situation in CNI appears vividly in my mind now. Expected another war soon.
4) If involve in the Tiens project, should be travelling to another 6 countries, according to Doris, I hope its true. I hope i am involve.

Cons
====
1) Being so far away from home Parents getting old, what if anything happen? (touchwood) – nevermind, will flyback…don’t care..
2) Working with her is another issue. Her bad tempered – but i guess as long as I do my things right, should be ok. Moreover, we seems to communicate well when i was still with CIS.
3) I don’t like China ppl. – I hope I am not offending anyone with this. But its true. They are difficult to work too. Imagine HX!!! duh… – but surely can learn a great deal from them.
4) There are many ham sab lou….:( XL!! But its ok, there’s Kenson around
5) Away from friends…i scared after return from China, ppl forget me

Life’s is all about making decision. Need to get back to Ms Heng next week. Jean not around, need to talk to him asap…the most difficult thing to do

Know about this terrible news from BH.
N must be very sad. I can imagine her relationship with mother is very close.
But I can’t imagine how sad is she without her mother around now.
The first and last time of meeting her was last chinese new year.
We were playing blackjack. She was very lucky cox she won a lot..if i am not mistaken. It was Xmas eve when bad things happened…that’s why i always believe Xmas is a bad day!
Life is fragile. I truly understand that. I hope AD can take good care of aunty up there. AD, can u hear my prayer?

Am not feeling very well lately. Stomach pain all the times, before eat, after eat, dun eat, eat a lot…all will cause pain…no idea..
Moreover, can’t sleep well at night. Mind always like to think a lot before going to sleep. Getting more each day. Need to analyse if what i do is correct or wrong, appropriate or inappropriate, true or fake…

I am thinking, if i don’t make it to KL tomorrow nite (touch wood), what will happen to the ppl around me. What do i left for them? What do i wan them to do for me?
I better write them down here, at least a ghost reading this and he will settle for me:

Things to giveaway:
1) X-DrivePro external hard disc – copy all the series to singyee, then format it and return to Henry.
2) Daniel Yam – SGD125 long blue dress for PL, i think she will wear it nice.
3) I don’t have any savings, but 3 insurances, Prudential, to contact Calvin, Great Eastern, contact Sidney and HSBC, see statement – all for parents.
4) No money left, only debts Remember to return money to Aunt Fong for notebook, owe cheeyan $50 and feli RM100, Jun $50.
5) Canon IS digi cam – for brother, the camera he’s using now is men’siasui’kan.
6) The salary for Dec from Insync – for GE, as promised.
7) KWSP (RM10k++) – for parents.
All my MP3 – for A Chen
9) my scratched Samsung X460C, for felicia, she needs hp now.

shit…i cant even list to 10 items that i have
nothing left for sister and brother…any a lot more friends.
i think its only memories that they can have from me.

Things to do for me:
1) maintain www.leejuan.com yearly. Let it kept alive. as for www.ongkichilam.com…can let it die with me.
2) burn me a sexy, black, deep V bikini…i cant make it happen this life, will continue to keep diet and fullfill my wish for next life.
3) buy 50 big, 50 small my IC number, 5926, if strike, give GE, the poor fella.
4) say sorry to CCY, tell her I love her.
5) tell leejuan i love him all my life….
6) tell Ms Heng and Doris that I can’t go Beijing, although i wish to.
7) tell Jerami in my SG office that he’s cute

nothing else i can think of now loo…maybe the list will keep growing if i have next time to blog

forgot one important thing : VOTE CHILAM!!!!!!!!

To you who is reading my blog, thanks for visiting but this should be the last post that will be published from eongki.blogspot.com and also the previous url, ongki.blogspot.com which was outdated.

I just resurrected my www.ongkichilam.com (with $$$) of course last week.
Moving all my pictures there.
Moved this blog too, all future post in the blog will be published in www.ongkichilam.com/blog.
However, this site is password protected, meaning that you need a login and password from me to get accessed. The initial purpose of my blog is not for public reading like kennysia.com, in fact, its my online diary, a space where I can throw my feelings when i have no one to turn to. But as time goes by, I keep getting more and more friends to read the blog.

In the end, it violates the purpose of my blog, because when you know people are reading your writings, you tend to play hide and seek, or not telling the truth, or not writing what’s in your mind really.

If you are really interested, IM me, i’ll create login and password one for u.
Just let me know.

Perhaps…the RM10 for the ticket worth it !
Perhaps…Takeshi surprised me with his acting, that its not just his pretty face
Perhaps…Zhou Xuan is quite likeable despite her too skinny figure
Perhaps…Jacky Cheung is truly a god of singers
Perhaps…Jin Ji Hee shocked me that he actually sang the songs himself

Love…is when Takeshi’s tear slowly flow out from his eyes at the underwater scene
Love…is when Takeshi hug her when she failed and was lying on the snow ground
Love…is when Takeshi recorded his feelings when he couldn’t find her
Love…is when Jacky told her to let him go and let him just be part of the memories

You can move forward but only with an attending loss. There is a sadness, but it should not hold you back. Keep your sights on your goals and purpose and strengthen your present position.

The day I was waiting for 12 years finally arrived.
Suppose to *chase* after Chilam for all the 4 sessions but due to my bad old habit, missed the first one.
*sister use this chinese word ‘zui sing’, which directly translated as chasing star.

Yeh, i woke up late, although AS called me at 7.15am but I was too lazy to wake up. Moreover, I thought the first session was at 9.30pm but shit it, i remembered wrongly. It’s 9am!
I drove as fast as I could to reach AS house before 9.30am…guess what, he told me, “don’t worry, we can make it by 10.30am”.
I was “huh?? 10.30am? not the first session meh?”
He said we were too late, the event should have finished by the time we reached. Better aim for the second one.
I was frusfrated with myself. Why can’t i just change my bad habit? I hate morning!

2nd session : Giant Superstore Open Car Park, Bandar Puteri Puchong
Ok, we reached Puchong, Giant Superstore before 10.30am, about 10.05am, approximately.
Not many people, as expected since it’s at Puchong…but it is indeed a big crowd where I only managed to stand at the 6 or 7 rows behind. There were two vans, one with Chilam pics and the other with Charmaine’s.

She’s not too pretty but presentable loh.

Look at poor me …

the crowd @Puchong

But the stars weren’t in there…it was the VJ in there, Wai Mun, the ASTRO host. At about 10.30am, the stars finally reached in a white color van. Chilam was in purple and Charmaine in a white+purple tee. For a few seconds, I was stunned. I was thinking, so this is the Chilam that I’ve been talking about for so many years. So this is the Chilam who appears in TV, this is the Chilam who sings so well… The feeling is somehow strange and indescribeable. The event proceeded. Games and some tricky questions about the series, Point of No Return. Questions like who is the name of Chow Tin Chi first mother .

I especially like this pic of Chilam..very cute. Many times, I was thinking of taking out my Chilam album in my bag and yell to him to sing for me but many times, I failed to do so. I was really paiseh la…maybe that’s the border line of a 26th young heart but old at age little fans namely me. He’s not too tall that will makes ppl around look short. At least Charmaine didn’t. He has good built…a man who has confidence, likes to win and playful. Yeh, ‘playful’ is the best word to describe him.

3rd session : CMC Centre Car Park Entrance, Taman Connaught

It was very hot. 12 afternoon, what do you expect? My face got burnt a bit after that. But again, worth it. The crowd this time was far more fun and lively. There are some youngsters got up on stage to sing the song “Point Of No Return” but they couldn’t even memorize the lyric If i were not late, I should be the one singing there…che wah….talk only la…There was one point where VJ asked an audience on stage to play game. A gal got up and suppose to say something loving words as in the series but she was like giving a speech on her own about how she struggled to stay *here* (no idea where she suppose to go) just because of Chilam!! Lawak la…
Was a bit dissapointed because Chilam didn’t want to sing
It would be great, if he sings one or two lines. He seems impresssed that Malaysian can sing his song.

4th session : Sunway Pyramid, Boulevard

That was the most tiring session of all 3 that I attended. I was damn late, reached at about 4.45pm. The crowd was already as packed as sardine. I was so shocked…didn’t expect at all.
This time, there were fans, bringing banner, shouted and really playful and fun this time. I was actually looking at the camera screen display when they got up on stage. The a guy beside me said in a very surprise tone, “wah, cheung chi lam…” Then i look on stage directly…wow wow wow!! He was sooooo handsome!!!!! with the boyish and stylish clothes on. So charming…and his hairstyle was changed. Look very different from the previous sessions.

Well…it was a very tiring day. I was really glad one of the things I must accomplished before i leave the world was realised

Left SG last Friday evening, with a confused mind and broken heart.
But glad the excitement of meeting Chilam was still there, else the purpose of going back KL will be totally destroyed.
Went back with Jun this time. We travelled to Larkin, JB and then bought bus ticket to KL from there. It was a tiring journey and we both agreed will not take this route next time. It does not save much paying with RM compare to SGD considering all the hassles. Right, Jun? Moreover, RM35 for a bus kilang where I hardly have enough space to strain my leg straight But glad Jun was with me, it’s funny to see her over worried so much about being cheated. And I also like her slim Creative a lot..compare to my ‘dai kau sui’ which battery lasted only 1/4 of the journey.
Something she might not know, that I was really sad and thought a lot during the whole journey, thats why I couldn’t sleep la, darling…
Reached Puduraya, sister fetched , asked me why going back, I told her that I need to settle my credit cards payment, ‘sun bin’ attend Chilam’s events. Smart enough, she shot me back, “i think u wanna see Chilam ‘sun bin’ settle CC payment la, how old are you? still 16 ar?”. I was laughing in my heart, “no dear, not 16 but 26!”
Is it really that unacceptable to travel from SG to KL to see a person whom u dream of seeing for more than 10 years? Don’t understand…
Reached home at about 3am, the first thing to do was switch on the TV. I miss ASTRO so much that at one point, was thinking to shift back to KL just because of that
Woke up at about 1pm the next day. Went to Miharja for pan mee, then banks to settle payments, and then Pasar Rakyat to get return bus ticket to SG…damn, its a 12 midnite ticket! Meaning that I will reach SG in the morning! But no choice, all tickets are sold out…
SMS AS to meet at 10pm for yum cha. Called CY for meet up at the same night.
Had hokkien mee near my house with AS. Then thought of going for movie, “Narnia”, AS agreed as he had been longing to watch but I suddenly changed mind and excused it by saying I promise to meet up with CY
Met CY, we had yum cha at Pandan Indah’s “Sweet Talk”. I think AS was damn bored cox i was chatting non stop with CY. hehe…bad me, never consider his feelings…
Then he sent us home and CY waiting for her sis to fetch her. She asked me about GHOST, and i told her the whole story. Glad I didn’t cry this time, wonder why was I so emotional when i told Feli about it last time. Something strange, when she compared to LJ, i can easily clarify to her my feelings for both guys, something that made me shocked within my heart, cox i was able to give quick and spontaneous answer which I was looking for, for the past years.

I started to like Chilam when i was in Form 2, or 3?
Couldn’t tell exactly the year but its after I watched that TV show where he was singing on stage and then Anita Yuen suddenly turned up and they sang together hand in hand.
He was holding her hand and happily guided Anita who is obviously nervous and weak in singing at that time. It was very sweet, I enjoyed that video clip so much. I downloaded the video clip and whenever sad, thats my remedy.

Its not really because Chilam is especially handsome or good in singing.
He’s not as popular as Rain, not as good looking as Leon, he does not achieve as much as Andy Lau, he does not sing as good as Jacky Cheung, he does not dance as good as Aaron…but I just like him.

I actually admire the couple for publicly exposing their relationship and they are still together until now. I like Chilam voice…might sounds nothing extraordinary to others, but its a special voice for me. Indescribeable feeling when i listen to him singing when I am sad. His singing is like telling me stories.

It seems like a fantasy or dream….but in just another 3 days time, am gonna to meet the real Chi Lam! Yes, the real person!!! How to describe how excited I was when I came across the news about him coming to Malaysia…
I was jumping up and down as if there is no mass, shaking my head left and right as if I won’t feel dizzy after that, twisting my waist as if there is no spare tyre around!!! My mind was floating as if there is no gravity in this room of mine in SG.

If Feli or CY or AS is around, am gonna hug them until they couldn’t breath…
Did not think much, or, do not need to think at all…i inform the whole world, I am going back KL this coming weekend, for the event.
Chilam and Chairmaine will be coming to KL on 11th Dec 05.
From now on, 11th DEC is CHILAM DAY. I declared!!!