Sorry, i did not post for so long…

Feel guilty everytime thinking of my blog, it has been more than few weeks since i last posted. i am so selfish, because i am suppose to share my ups and downs with blog but it turned up that, when i am happy, none of the happenings are blogged here

Well, what can i say except that I really enjoyed so much here in Beijing, although it’s not even a month yet. But of course, it will be perfect if that bitch senior colleague of mine did not create such stupid mess raise a decision to resign her current position which i think is farking bloody stupid and unreasonable unnecessary. But afterall, i am sure the incident will give us a chance to gain more knowledge despite the unpleasant consequences such as working on weekend right after she left

Hey! I shouldn’t have start my impressive experience with such unpleasant story!
Ok, let’s see what have i gained :

1) a bunch of nice friends or colleagues or housemates or roomates
- KK -> stern and serious looking but can be ??? sometimes. Knowledgeable, extremely obsessed and very good in photography!!

- JH -> my roommate who is young, tall, talkative and ‘clickable’ with me. She talks a lot and looks very naive to me.

- CM -> a very soft, slow and *fragile* young lady who do everything is a very slow pace. I guess she is over protected

- LCL -> young man who does have the potential to be a leader but i guess he is lack of confidence.

- WAL -> definitely a young man with too much confidence, and i guess over sometimes. Too many complaints from him, not too good.

First week in Beijing

My office address :

CIS Solutions (Beijing) Co. Ltd.
505, Tower D, Shang Di Jin Yu Jia Hua Mansion
Hai Dian District
Beijing 100085,
P. R. China
Mobile : +0086 136 8355 1475

The weather here is cold, less than 10 celcius everyday, sometimes negative but still manage to bear with the coldness. Just wear more will be ok.

On the morning reached Beijing, we headed back to apartment. The apartment was damn messy and dirty but slightly better now, since some of the malaysian colleagues has moved to Tien Jin.
I was assigned to the masterbed room with three beds and an attached bathroom. the bathroom smells terrible at first, but got so much better now. maybe its because the house has no air circulation for the past two weeks during cny, thats why the smell was bad.
i will be sharing the room with another 2 malaysian gals, one of them is a student in china for the past two years. she did her degree here at ching hwa universitity which i got to know that its quite a famous uni. she is now still in her uni hostel and will be moving in soon. another gal is the senior who recommended me to join back the company. she will not be staying long in beijing. will be transferred bck to KL once i am good enough to handle the system.
both them havent reach. so i am all alone in this room while typing this.

after rested for about two hours in the apartment, we walked to the office building which is about 20 mins away.
the office was in a nice and elegant building. at least the toilet is clean
office quite big, with about 20 to 30 staffs of all departments. colleagues mostly very friendly.
then we had meeting with the bosses. here comes my pressure.
they talked about the company goal and the importance of the project.
but there is a bad news, i am in the product team, and not project team, which means i might not have the chance to travel to argentine, south africa, england for the new mega project. but i hope, if i can master the product, i might have the chance to follow the project team to travel to suport them (ji kei ngak ji kei – tipu sendiri)
since the meeting still progressing during lunch hour, boss asked others to ‘da bau’ for us. guess what in the lunch box! 10++ ‘gao zi’ !
just the ‘gao zi’ woh…..eat one or two is nice la, but the whole meal just gao zi…..there goes my first meal in beijing!

then we were allowed to get back to our apartment for rest. at night i had my first dinner. they dun have foodcourt or hawker stalls. usually restaurants where u order dishes. so other coleagues and I ordered few dishes loh. damn it, the food was freaking oily ! the taste still ok but once u see the dripping oil, u will not feel like wan to eat. but what to do, still have to eat!!!!

the second day, meals as usual, restaurant ordering dishes. oh…i al so got my new notebook! a brand new HP notebook….hehe…
then third day is about the same loh….work, eat, home.

but finally great times come on weekend!!! we went skiing! yes skiing!!!!
and oh gosh, i fall more than ski until my pet pet also blue black! until the trainer also yell at me!
what to do, i dun understand what the heck he talking about!!!
haha…yes, language…forgot to mention about this.
basically, i can understand the normal daily conversation. but for technical instruction like skiing…i got blurred, really…not only me, others colleagues also.
but one thing in office, i am not given special treatment for not understanding chinese. meeting, training as usual, all in chinese. so all i can rely on is just on the speeches. but don’t worry, i can understand them. and the malaysian collegues will help me sometimes.

oh! back to skiing….yes, cool and great!!!!! see pics! see my broad smile…smile until can see only teeth but not eyes….

4th day of CNY, 5 more days to Beijing

It is me alone in my home sweet home in KL. Everybody has got outings, except me. Even parents have gone out visiting their friends, or maybe went Genting.
Sister accompanied me to buy bra at JJ this morning, then left for friends house. Big brother should be at PG and younger brother also went out.
Feli did ask me out but I was just too lazy.

It is already the 4th day.
Since came home from Sg on the cny eve, my luggages were remained at the same place as they were on the first day. I did not unpack or pack at all.
I think i really doesn’t want to leave this place. I think I am scared. But I know, the more scared it is, the more I should and like to go!
That’s me, never know what I want to do, never want to plan, never think carefully…just bearing one word on the chest, COURAGE!!!

HL called me on cny eve, told me his god mom passed away.
I feel so bad for him and family. Its really so cruel.
Someone you love so dearly left u on a such a special occassion, its new year.

But i think i experienced the same thing too.
Ghost *left* me too. Yes, I finally let go of him.
I met him. Was very nervous at first.
The feeling was somehow, changed, maybe with his fren’s presence, I got a chance to avoid him, to avoid looking *deep* into his eyes, haha, i didn’t even dare to look at him more than just a quick glance.
Yes, just a quick glance and no more capturing images in my heart, as it used to be. I never want to do so anymore, cox that will bring guilt in me.
I don’t want to be SC version 2. I hate ‘eye’ing on things that belong to others.
It was silly me, i was once trying to believe that he’s telling me those earth breaking news just to scared me away….wait, not scared away but to regain our friendship.
But at this moment, i really believe he’s carving another chapter in his life and he’s no longer anyone in my chapter of life.
I went SG looking for a release and escape, only to realise its just really a ‘pause’ in my own chapter, while its one big turn in his.
I claimed I moved forward, but i gotta admit, I didn’t, he’s the one who forwarded so much.
By now, everything is cleared, I don’t feel sad anymore. He wants me to be his good pal to give him support, I will, I will give him whatever I can afford to give him, but this time, there is a limit. I need a limit.

最佳位置
我也数过
排着队等讨好你有个
还未有新空缺来容纳我
正选只得一个后选经已太多
我细心想过
停在今天这一处也不错
越过知己的亲密然而未有拥吻过
共你这么的暧昧已得到的甚多

无论你喜欢谁请你记住留下给我这位置
时常在内心一隅空出几寸为我坚持
共度半生亦有张椅子
是否爱还是其次
只想你依然亦想得起我不是
任你处置
女友一走过
邻坐空位都可以坐一坐
若你珍惜我不如从来没有爱恋过
互有好感的尊重更加可贵么
比不上恋人但厮守一辈子
无论你喜欢谁请你继续留下身边这个位置
时常在内心一隅剩低几寸留给这女子
谁共你好都不碍事
我都会衷心支持
未必所有关系亦受得起刺激
但我可以
虔诚地热恋一辈子
共你也许真的不容易
喜欢你最好不要讲