彩虹和我的故事。。。

在徊家途中，看见了一道彩虹。
远远的他，很漂亮。 我的车一路往着那个方向去。
彩虹那道圈，变得越来越小。

我在想，人生就不是一样吗？
在远那时候， 我们就很想靠近，但当靠经或得到时候，我们却看不清楚。
是因为看不清楚吗，我们就不懂得去珍惜。是因为漂亮的关系吗，我们永远不能保存好来。

人是要则麽样做的呢？ 我能问谁呢？
为何我变得越来越不开心？
我服了朋友，他们放弃了我。 不。。。因改是我服了他们，得到如持饱因， 我没话说。
可是我是真的很伤心啊！

很多时候，很想结束自己。 人生这个游戏， 我不想玩乐。
可是，没一持， 当我想起爸爸妈妈的时候，很快我又不敢想下去了。
可是车么办？ 我不能为别人而活啊。。。
我不能总是为别人而假笑啊。。。

I am making friendship stinks

Okay, CKY had been calling me out, for JY’s presence in KL. I didn’t want to go.
He’s mad and been telling me about END OF FRIENDSHIP and all those sort of angry and fed up expressions.

Carl Chen says:
sorry to say..i gave up …on you too

ongki says:
no matter how u guys see me, i dun mind already.. but u have to know, i always pray for u all happiness, and if u need my help on anything, i will not hesitate to help, just keep in mind, u all have a fren in a far far place, that will do

and he hurt me like this :

Carl Chen says:
like i said..everyone used to your absences..do, sooner, everyone will forget about u

Carl Chen says:
in fact..u r not even in our chatting topic..

But I am not angry at all. It might be a relief for me if he stop remembering to ask me out, to join them for anything. I am tired of finding excuse to reject meeting with them too. He doesn’t want to listen anyway. But yes, I am really hurt and sad. But I know he din’t hurt me, its just that I chose to hurt myself. Why ah?

Why am i chasing the whole world away from myself? GE is right, i am making friendship stinks. Oh god, what did I do? I don’t know. What is happening to me? Why am i so cruel to my friends? I’d rather go shopping alone than going out with my *friends*.

Who will be really want to be my friends in the future? Who wants to seek a hopeless people like me to be their friend?

With my buddies

Had dinner with my UMS buddies…my ‘heng dai’ and their girls.
It was a long awaited gathering. So nice of WB, cox he was so dedicated to have one, been calling me and inviting again and again despite me rejected for few times.
Although was kinda fed up with these guys for not turning up at the CNY gathering, but kinda flattered this time as they were really sincere to bring up this meeting.

I was sleeping, still sleeping at around 6.45pm, doesn’t really wan to wake up. Frankly, I was a bit lazy for it. How i wish to receive a call from HL or WB that the dinner is called off. But HL called my house phone at 7pm sharp, asking if he needs to fetch me as well. Thinking of avoiding the ‘ying chow’ session as less as possible, i prefer to drive on my own.

Yea, was very lazy to ‘ying chow’ and really no mood to go but have too. So, just simply put on a blouse and jeans. But once reached there, before caught them in sight, i was kinda excited and then i know i do miss these guys a lot especially HL. Its been really long time since i met him, i think before i went Singapore.He is still the same, not even the hair style is changed, except that he is now with a pretty gal. Yes, the infamous Bobo jeh. She is really thin and as picky as sister described. haha…but no doubt, she is a special girl, although i don’t really like her, but if this is HL choice, i accept.

Oh, also the same old couple, WB and BC. Both thin like stick
I couldn’t even recall when is the last time i met him.
He was all the way complimenting on my complexion and slimmer figure.
That’s the power of makeup la dear WB! And its his loss for not meeting up before i went BJ as thats the time when I was in my slimmest. Too bad.

It was GE and gf that appeared d latest. I was expecting somekind of weird feeling in me when meeting them, but who knows, not at all. It’s rather comfortable.
Well, how do you expect me to feel when this guy who appear in front of me, holding the hand of another girl, WAS someone i used to be crazy of? The incident is still a wound to me, a black past which i really hate to recall. I enjoy the feeling of being his best friend…being at his right side while the one whom he will spend life with is on his left side. I am very contended at this position. As long as he is happy, I am feeling good enough. Nothing more than that.

I am especially attracted with this song from Mayday. Beautiful melody and lyrics.
Will upload the song to the radio blog too.

知足
Zhi Zu
(Contended)

怎么去拥有 一道彩虹
Zen me qu yong you yi dao cai hong
(How to own a rainbow)

怎么去拥抱 一夏天的风
Zen me qu yong bao yi xia tian de feng
(How to embrace the summer breeze)

天上的星星 笑地上的人
Tian shang de xing xing xiao di xia de ren
(The stars in the sky are laughing at the people on the ground)

总是不能懂 不能觉得足够
Zong shi bu neng dong / Bu neng gou zhi zu
(That they always can’t understand, always not contended)

如果我爱上 你的笑容
Ru guo wo ai shang ni de xiao rong
(If I love your smile)

要怎么收藏 要怎么拥有
Yao zen me shou cang / Yao zen me yong you
(How do I keep it / How do I own it?)

如果你快乐 不是为我
Ru guo ni kuai le bu shi wei wo
(If you’re happy not because of me)

会不会放手 其实才是拥有
Hui bu hui fang shou qi shi cai shi yong you
(Will it be that letting go is actually possessing?)

当一阵风吹来 风筝飞上天空
Dang yi zhen feng chui lai / Feng zheng fei le shang tian kong
(When the wind blows, The kite fly up the sky)

为了你而祈祷 而祝福 而感动
Wei le ni er qi dao / Er zhu fu er gan dong
(I pray for you, wish for you, I’m touched for you)

终于你身影 消失在 人海尽头
Zhong yu ni shen ying xiao shi zai ren hai jin tou
(Finally your silhoutte disappears in the crowd)

才发现 笑着哭 最痛
Cai fa xian xiao zhe ku zui tong
(I realize crying with a smile is the most painful)

那天你和我 那个山丘
Na tian ni he wo / Na ge shan qiu
(That day, you and me / That little hill)

那样的唱着 那一年的歌
Na yang de chang zhe na yi nian de ge
(We were singing that old song)

那样的回忆 那么足够
Na yang de hui yi duo me zu gou
(That kind of memory is enough for me)

足够我天天 都品尝着寂寞
Zu gou wo tian tian dou chang zhe yi mo
(Enough for me to enjoy the loneliness everyday)

一阵风吹来 风筝飞上天空
Dang yi zhen feng chui lai / Feng zheng fei le shang tian kong
(When the wind blows, The kite fly up the sky)

为了你而祈祷 而祝福 而感动
Wei le ni er qi dao / Er zhu fu er gan dong
(I pray for you, wish for you, I’m touched for you)

终于你身影 消失在 人海尽头
Zhong yu ni shen ying xiao shi zai ren hai jin tou
(Finally your silhoutte disappears in the crowd)

才发现 笑着哭 最痛
Cai fa xian xiao zhe ku zui tong
(I realize crying with a smile is the most painful)

如果我爱上 你的笑容
Ru guo wo ai shang ni de xiao rong
(If I love your smile)

要怎么收藏 要怎么拥有
Yao zen me shou cang / Yao zen me yong you
(How do I keep it / How do I own it?)

如果你快乐 不是为我
Ru guo ni kuai le bu shi wei wo
(If you’re happy not because of me)

会不会放手 其实才是拥有
Hui bu hui fang shou qi shi cai shi yong you
(Will it be that letting go is actually possessing?)

知足的快乐 叫我忍受心痛
Zhi zu de kuai le jiao wo ren shou xin tong
(The happiness of being contended has helped me bear the pain)

KL -> Beijing -> KL

Yes, am in KL now. I am so bored of telling ppl that I am coming back for training and all the bullshits. The fact is, I am here in the KL office to be *firewoman*.

4th April 06 – Li San’s bday. Li San, hubby, Bee Ling, Fei and I had dinner at Bumbu Bali, a Balinese restaurant at Puchong. Doesn’t know why, celebrating at this age is kinda routine…well, after celebrating more than 20 times, what do ya expect??

7th April 06 – Feli’s bday. Chee Yan, Feli and I had dinner at Mid Valley’s Chillis. We had late dinner, as I was stucked in the office until at about 8.30pm

Aside from these once-a-year events, I really hate coming back to KL

1) KL office is like a fire station, everyday, ppl who work there are just putting off fire.

2) The damn long journey from Cheras to Damansara Intan everyday! Headache morning, been cursing again n again every morning, asking why was I sent back to Malaysia!

3) High expenses! Tolls, petrols, meals….imagine, if i am in beijing, i will just need to spend my allowance and save my basic, but in Malaysia, I will have to spend the basic and will be saving only the allowance!

4) I still havent receive my salary yet!!!