Archive for November, 2006
Posting from email
testing. it’s cool if it works.
11771554 : his blog
Yesterday night, at around 9.30pm, I browsed his website, no new content.
Later at around 12.30am, I browsed again, the site was updated with many photos.
I saw me, i saw me, i saw me! Yes, I am in one of the pictures, a picture of 4 of us during the Malaysian Night, I am even standing beside him, but I look so fat! He labelled me as ‘Ongki’!
I didn’t know what did I feel…mixed feeling. I am happy because he put a photo with me on it, that means he’s not that angry with me.
But, will that means, he doesn’t hate me anymore? Actually I should feel happy if he doesn’t hate me but, no more hate, will that means no more love also…
Today, 7.30pm, I browsed the website, no changes. 8.30pm, there is a new entry on his blog! In between this one hour time, he was updating his site, I was reading his mind! So close…am i the first reader of that entry?
His contact got deleted from my MSN. I thought of him, walked to Liang’s notebook, and laughingly said, ‘Oh, i wonder how is he now…’ and point to his contact on Liang’s notebook. “Liang, liang, what he wrote?”, asking the meaning of his chinese written MSN display message. “oh…it means he wants to hide himself and learn things”.
I said, “oh, learning new things again…did he learn much already, Liang?”
Liang said, “yes, he is very smart”.
I am so proud of him. That’s the guy that Ong Lea Szu who will go crazy for.
My greed comes and haunt me. Liang even suggested to get another colleague to arrange a meeting with him. I said, “But he told me not to trouble him”.
He didn’t say anything. I got back to my place, clicking here and there but my mind is asking myself if I should go to see him.
But it will not mean anything even if he’s standing in front of me. What will he do?
What can i do? My mind flashed back at those MSN dialogues. ‘Please don’t trouble me again’. It is so vividly appear on my mind, although the file was destroyed along with the dead HD.
I started to remind myself again, I will only love this guy from far.
“Ongki, don’t act more anymore, don’t, he don’t like it and he won’t like you anymore”. Be contended that you can at least get to know him from reading his blog.
Kill the greed! Kill it!
Liang is calling me ‘Ongki’, with a very weird pronounciation, but I like it.
Cox I know he’s following him to call me by this name. I miss him, i really miss him…”darling, do you hear me? i miss you, 11771554″
张智霖 : 十指紧扣
Remembering him at this moment.
Posted this song on the radio blog, this version has Chilam narration with it.
Yes, true, when our fingers were interlocked together, the sweet feeling is so strong, with the sense of “安全感” too.
There was a time when he was holding my hand, i counted each of our locked fingers, one by one, from 一, 二, 三, 四, 五, 六, 七, 八, 九, 十 … he was stunned, unsure of what were I doing…and after finished counting, i said, “So this is the feeling of 十指紧扣 by Chilam”.
He held my hand while crossing the street, and said, ‘you stand this side and follow me’…he didn’t know how impressed I was, I didn’t tell him, I was just staring at him, looking at how busy he was to cros the road, just as of how busy i was admiring my guy. Never in my life, to have someone who volunteer to guide me. He’s the first, although it didn’t last long, but as the saying goes, 不在乎天长地久,只在乎曾经拥有.
From now now, I will not stop myself from remembering him, I don’t want to emphasize on how painful I was, i don’t want to remember those sweet memories with tears anymore, I want it to be accompanied by smiles…
即使可以畅聚最幸运的一对伴侣
沿途仍旧要牵手伴随
原来为了温馨之中带着了恐惧
若那对手放松了会怕失去
紧紧拥抱以外我用什么感到被爱
沿途陪着你手松下来
遗留十时空间谁相信
你在乎我若那缺陷拉阔随时会分开
谁都知双手可紧扣不依不舍的背后
这个信念有多温柔从害怕会被拥有
直到力气不够十只手指终於找得到对手
能开不能心都紧扣辛不辛苦都接受
是一个成就
可惜我只想与一个人尾指一勾也没有
紧紧拥抱以外我用什么感到被爱
沿途伴着你手松下来
遗留十时空间谁相信
你在乎我若那缺陷拉阔随时会分开
谁都知双手可紧扣不依不舍的背后
这个信念有多温柔从害怕会被拥有
直到力气不够十只手指终於找得到对手
能开不能心都紧扣辛不辛苦都接受
是一个成就
可惜我只得我一个人绕起双手
谁都知双手可紧扣不依不舍的背后
这个信念有多温柔从害怕会被拥有
直到力气不够十只手指就是绝望时扶手
能开不能心都紧扣辛不辛苦都接受
是一个成就
可惜我只想与一个人尾指一勾也没有
Chilam’s blog
Oh my god, Chilam does blog!
And he did mention in his interview that, he will post little Chilam’s pic in the blog. I hope he will.
But very jialat…cox its in Chinese…but it’s OK, i will study word by word of what he wrote.
I feel the distance with him is so much closer now. 
The essence of life, not just LOVE….
No control is the best control !!!
This was what i put as my MSN display message this morning, for a few minutes.
Then realised, should not simply write such msg anymore.
*Some* ppl might misunderstood. I don’t want to be an open book anymore.
From now on, I will not simply open myself for people to see through me.
Got an email from CCY, although its just a forwarded one, but since she seldom email me, i decided to read through it. It’s about how drinking a lot of water can cure disease, but have to follow some steps, here’s how :
1. As you wake up in the morning before brushing teeth, drink four glasses of water each of 160 ml.
2. Brush and clean the mouth but do not eat or drink anything for 45 minutes.
3. After 45 minutes you may eat and drink as normal.
4. After 15 minutes of breakfast, lunch and dinner do not eat or drink anything for two hours.
5. Those who are old or sick and are unable to drink four glasses of water at the beginning may commence by taking little water and gradulayy increase it to four glasses per day.
6. The above method of treatment will cure diseases of the sick and others can enjoy a healthy life.
The following list gives the number of days of treatment required to cure main diseases:
1. High Blood Pressure 30 days
2. Gastric 10 days
3. Diabetes 30 days
4. Constipation 10 days
5. Cancer 180 days
6. TB 90 days
Cure cancer in 180 days?? Sure boh….well, I’ll try the 4th one, constipation…
What is Love?
Love is a slow kiss goodnight.
It’s anticipation.
Love is flirting outrageously and still remembering that the person at your side is not obligated to do anything.
It’s respect.
Love is an imperfection in yourself not bothering you.
It’s acceptance.
Love is passing up an opportunity because the time isn’t right yet.
It’s patience.
Love is a back massage that starts above the hairline and ends around the insoles.
It’s exploration.
Love is not having to say “Let’s make love,” because you know what the other person wants.
It’s understanding.
Love is being given an honest chance to say no when you thought you were committed.
It’s consideration.
Love is both of you remembering protection.
It’s responsibility.
Love is saying the perfect phrase to make a solemn embrace dissolve into giggles.
It’s humor.
Love is being told “Stop and I’ll kill you”.
It’s desire.
Love is reviewing the damage to your living room and realizing personal effects are strewn in a clockwise pattern from the front door to the bedroom.
It’s abandonment.
Love is seeing what your lover really looks like for the first time.
It’s truth.
Love is knowing what time it is and not caring.
It’s joy.
Love is the arms around you tightening their embrace.
It’s ecstasy.
Love is seeing a new side of a person you thought you knew.
It’s renewal.
Love is telling a person if you have to leave, you will let them sleep, and being told they would rather be woken.
It’s tenderness.
Love is waking up to find the subject of the dream you were having asleep on your shoulder.
It’s where fantasy meets reality.
Love is being there to wake your lover. Slowly.
It’s sensuousness.
Love is belatedly knowing why you bothered to buy a queen-sized bed three years ago.
It’s practicality.
Love is two people only taking up a third of a queen-sized bed.
It’s closeness.
Love is knowing you gave the extra set of keys to your apartment to the right person.
It’s trust.
Love is saying good-bye and knowing you will be back by mutual consent.
It’s faith.
Love is stretching your arms and discovering the real meaning of the word “sore”.
It’s a lesson in human frailty.
Love is opening your medicine cabinet and finding your tube of toothpaste turned into a pretzel.
It’s adaptation.
Love is sitting at the window, looking out and remembering who you were with the night before.
It’s reflection.
Love is hearing the weather forecast for a winter storm and wishing you could spend it in bed with your lover.
It’s loneliness.
Love is stories that will never be told.
It’s personal.
Hard Disc Crashed .. my world got shrinked!
The stupid Compaq notebook’s HD crashed, no idea what’s causing, but am already the second victim. Day after day, I remember what i lost bit by bit.
1) The first thing that appear in my mind when the stupid HD are certified dead, my ALBUMS! My photo albums. But still OK cox there are backups at ongkichilam.com, just that the original high quality are gone…
- Singapore trips
- Ongkichilam Day – my Chilam 
- All my girls’ wedding pictures!
- My family reunion pics during CNY
- Those pics taken at Beijing, London, Argentina :(:(:(:(
2) All my CIS related codings…my newly coded Stockist Backend Menu. Have to recode. F**K!
3) All my collections of scripts, be it JS or PHP or Oracle. Gosh, I am not going to do Distributor Import anymore, I lost that query script!
4) I lost my only picture taken with him, although its only shadow, but its one of my best and valuable picture.
God, what did I do wrong?
Anita Yuen gives birth to an 8 pound baby boy
During these rocking days, I am glad there is a headline which at least triggered a smile on my face, an honest smile of gladnesss from the true me.
Weird, someone who don’t even know me, will made me so happy, yet those who used to be in my heart, made me cry all the times.
Congratulations!Chi Lam and Anita Yuen became proud parents to a near 8-pound baby boy. Yesterday, Chi Lam accompanied Anita Yuen into the delivery room and after 2-3 hours, Anita gave birth to a crying baby boy and as a happy mother, Anita cried. Over the phone, whenever little Chi Lam was brought up she would be extremely happy and excited. She said, “When he was born he cried loudly and he was fei fei bak bak, so I know he is healthy and I can sigh with relief. I am really happy.” Anita also described little Chi Lam as having a body of a male model.Translated by 60699 @ http://asianfanatics.net
Source: sina.com.hk
Credits: AsianFanatics
野百合也有春天
我很心痛。
到了今天，我依然为你哭。
说为你哭不是要你的同情，你也不会再看我一眼。。。
你说过，”you cry, that is your problem”
我会永远起得。
重你第一天骂我， 我已不能听情歌了，都会想起你。
现在，我又在想你了。。。因为我在听 ‘你那么爱她’
他说，
“你那么爱她， 为甚么不把她留下
为甚么不说心里话 你深爱她”
我说过了，可是我爱的人不再爱我了，不再听我心说的话了。
我真的用了心去爱她，可是我们都爱错了。
如果可以重来，。。。 我。。。
不想了， 你我都知道， 我们完了。
谢谢你，你对我太好了，重来没人对我那么好过。。。
我会记得， 我的第一次。
有一首歌， 很想和你分享 。。。
用心去听。。。听我说，我爱你。。。
我真的真的不会再犯你了。。。对不起，真的。
