What is your email address there?

Dear Ah Dee,

How are you? Already two years since you left. I look like changed a lot but I am not sure if I am changed from what you know about me.?I guess slightly changed because I?am seldom happy nowadays, compare last time, I can easily smile right from my heart. ?How about you? Are you enjoying up there? What do you usually do during leisure times? Do you have computer? Internet? If yes, do send me an email, I will be very very glad, don’t worry, I won’t be scared.

Still remember the laughters we used to share everytime we went out for drinks? You are a real joker But to me, you are like my Smiling Buddha, makes me happy all the times when you are around, even during those times when you have to fight against the pain. I wonder, why God chose you??? and why not me? Why God leave me in this world to bear the suffer and not let you stay to keep spreading happiness to others? I think God loves *good* boy and girls, and always want to keep these people?around him. But that’s unfair…why don’t he let them stay and help people who suffer? I hope, I really hope to see you now.

Maybe I sounded too sentimental. The fact is, we seldom meet. Not many times but this is enough for me. The important thing is, we shared and talked heart to heart everytime we meet or talking through the phone. Ah, I recalled the last time chatting on the phone with you, it was such a long conversation! I remember I told you about LJ that time. And you used your philosophy to explain to me to make me change my mind. Haha..but this time, you are not here to give me advise? You are not here to change my point of view? You are not here anymore to persuade the stubborn me? You are not here but my problem is really serious that every now and then I feel like wanna leave this world, but I am afraid I will not be able to meet you because you are so far above and I think I will be punished *down there*. Well, even if I can meet you, I might have avoided you, I scared you’ll ask, “Hey, how come u r here? You must be very sad to leave your life ya?” And I will have to answer, “Err, err, I chose myself” Ashame of myself. For my parents sake,?for god sake, I won’t do it, don’t worry.

I am sorry, the last time you called me for karaoke, I rejected I am very sorry. It taught me a good lesson. But I remember, CCY once said, I never change a bit even after this lesson. Am I? I guess so, I am still the same old me, never keep promise, like to sleep all the times and neglecting my friends. But hey, I did improve. At least I have organised many gatherings with my friends. I guess should be fine.

I have bought Lilian Too’s 21 Eyes bead with citrine. It was said to make wishes come true. I am wearing now, and does that means my wish will come true? It don’t have to be all turned true, just one will be great. I wish, Ah Dee will reply my email…

Xeersoft and V?

It looks like the collaboration between Xeersoft and CIS Beijing is really progressing.

V invited boss over for visit. Ask me how I feel, I am worry. Very worry, not that I lost confidence on V, in fact, I never put any on him. Its just that, I feel that Xeersoft is not stable or mature enough to put themselves in the big China market. They needs far more experience to deal with China ppl, compare to Thai or Vietnamese…But with Thanin’s capability, will they be able to teach V how does the correct management works?

I started to fell in love with Xeersoft, my only remedy for my sickness at the moment. I feel that only through working, I can always be delighted and feeling satisfied. Moreover, I have been given plenty of golden opportunities in the company which is very useful for my career. I appreciate this and will try my best to work upwards.

First time as interviewer

Today, with YR, we went to Cosmopoint College to have interview sessions with some of their *selected* candidates. We spent about 3 hours interviewing 8 of them. A great experience for first timer like me, but I think the quality of the students are not too impressive. First of all, they were like already memorized the answer of some of the questions.

Funny, when asked about their strength, they all have the same line, ‘fast-learner’ and few more. I guess this is taught by their teachers. And I was kinda dissapointed with some of them who actually graduated from UMS….

One of my favourite question, simple yet straighforward, “Do you know the difference between Left Join and Right Join in query?”….none of them can give me the exact answer…..aih….

My xBlog Entry Dated 2nd July 2006

So fast, a year had passed. 2006 was a significant year for me.

Out of the 365 days, there was a special day that denotes the start of a series of significant events in my life.

It was my first time, to be with someone I love. I will celebrate 2nd July every year, starting from 2007.

I will take a day off from work on 2nd July 2007, and then spend a day sitting and waiting.

Pondering at what happened, what went wrong and what should I do in the future.

童梦 – Childhood Dream

Listened to this song this afternoon in the car. Kinda attracted to it. I actually listened till the end before I got off from the car.

卫兰: 能有你 快活无可比 可把臂逛街 畅游尽天地 
        任何时候哪肯怀疑你 宁愿不听他人 说是说非

光良: 除了你 没别人可比 
       只需爱到底 难道天妒忌 
       任何容貌条件都喜欢你 
       其实相爱没因由
       谅你也不记起

卫兰: 别要欺骗我 
光良: 流泪一滴亦已太多
卫兰: 随时爱大可纵坏我
光良: 已片刻难离
卫兰: 一公分可算多

合: 其实我 未想知道 谁再爱得多
光良: 愿你相信我
卫兰: 明日怎样无助
光良: 我也可
卫兰: 如平日大几倍爱护我 如果 花开竟不结果
光良: 都不妄往日相处谐和
卫兰: 梦一同做过

卫兰: 别要欺骗我
光良: 流泪一滴亦已太多
卫兰: 随时爱大可纵坏我
光良: 已片刻难离
卫兰: 一公分可算多
光良: 其实我 未想知道 谁再爱得多
卫兰: 凭着相爱过 明日怎样无助 (光良: 没法 当面找我)
卫兰: 你也可 如平日大几倍 爱护我 (光良: 想得 太多)
卫兰: 如果 花开竟不结果
合: 都不妄往日相处 谐和 梦一同做过

卫兰： 还太快信任情不死 只想逛逛街 游尽天共地
光良: 就如童话从开始多麽美
合: 期望日出身边 那位 最後还是你

XeerSoft Training Session

The training started on 11th of June, with participants from Thailand XeerSoft office and of course, most of my colleagues here in XeerSoft MY.

First day, interesting introductory sessions by Mr.Thanin and Tony.

One interesting fact, there are 4 Thai colleagues, and a lot of Malaysians. But each of the Thais, Mr.Thanin speaks very Thai English, Tony speaks very UK English, Ana speaks very US English and Pongsiri doesn’t speak at all…and us, speaks our very MALAYSIAN ENGLISH.
Anyway, thats the very interesting fact of being Malaysian, we can understand others and make them understand us very easily but not all can easily understand us…

Alright, back to the training. I think its superb! Being a newcomer to many companies before, I feel really glad and appreciates the efforts of XeerSoft for this training. They really put in a lot of efforts for the knowledge transfer.
I am glad, for the first day, I listened to a lot of motivational concepts, one which I feel so grateful was,

People is the most important asset in the company

This was from Mr.Thanin, the Managing Director. I am sure XeerSoft will progress well with this type of thinking.

After joining their leaders meeting for the first time, I feel that the company is just a typical chinaman company who always put the priority in solving the problem as soon as possible, disregard of the growth and future of the company. This is what happened in CIS…but they are unlucky because they don’t have people like Lachlan and Thanin, someone who interrupt and says, “we SHOULD NOT do this”.

First Day @ XeerSoft – got my notebook!

Yay! 8 reasons why I am happy at work today:

1) 5 mins to reach office
2) NO traffic jam
3) FREE parking
4) NEW notebook – an Acer Aspire 5583NWXMi
5) lunch LESS than RM5
7) TRAINING via concept – more training to come
8 )left office around 8pm (might be a bad point for others but its something wonderful for Ongki, because I really love to work!

But of course when there’s good, there’s bad too:

1) No free nescafe in the office
2) No leng chai
3) Office too messy – but there will be another new office soon
4) I can’t skip lunch at the moment – have to join them for socialising

As for the system, I have yet to look into details, but from a very quick preview, it looks to me to be messy too.

But there is something I am really looking forward, will be given chance to lead. After learning from the past with my failure of being a team leader, I promise myself to do well this time.

Will also be a lot of welcome voices for me to bring in new things to the system. Standards, documentations and …. yet to see….:D

Who is Elaine Ong?

Bought a very costly dress for Suet Mui’s wedding. It’s black and long. love it once i put it on. It’s very comfortable with that kind of fabric but of course, it makes me look elegant, classy and slim on it. I was looking at myself in front of the mirror. That day I was full of confidence, I even told the girls, “It really makes me look so good”. The whole night during the dinner, I was walking with my chest really up and confidently. I was very happy since the day I gathered with my friends for the wedding. It made me feel that I have the support of many good and sincere friends, who will always stand by me if I am in trouble.

Until yesterday, someone wrote very bad about me on that website. I am not sure if its him who wrote that but its definitely the same person who did that on my ex-blog last time. That person put a lot of accusations on me, but not much differ from those on my ex-blog. I didn’t have much anger this time, compare to the last, I was furious. Just feeling very scary and insecure, because I would never know who is that who hates me so much. Could it be him? But I know, whoever who wrote that, the problem arises because of my own fault too. What did I do that there is someone or a lot of ex-colleagues out there who are so angry with me. Elaine Ong to them is a “jin fu”.

Today I look into the mirror again, I questioned myself, who is the real Elaine Ong? Where are the confidence that I had when I wore that dress just few days ago? I really wonder, how does my friends actually look at me. Who am I? A bit lost and feeling really down and moody the whole day…

But I had a wonderful dinner tonight, for the first time in my life, I had a *complete* dinner with my family members. Parents, elder brother, sister and younger brother. It was said to be father’s birthday dinner but I know, its all for brother. Because of brother, we all started to feel the importance of love towards each others. I then tell myself, “Elaine Ong is a girl being loved by each of her family members, she should live well and not to let them down”. Why do I bother about the comments of people who don’t know me? They don’t know me because people who knows me, they won’t say such a thing. With my dear family and friends around me, I don’t need anyone else.

Well, this is life, we have ups and downs. It’ll be over soon, very soon, be patience, go through it and Elaine Ong is the strongest person in front of the mirror.

“Heart of Greed” says,

甜的吃, 苦的也吃