Appreciation

It’s 3am and I couldn’t get to sleep even after a tiring two days trip to Ipoh and Penang.
I am very disturbed by the comments and ‘suggestions’ made by one of my closest friend who trying to mean, what I am trying to do to please and make everyone happy tomorrow might be just a waste.
But since recently I learnt not to give up easily, I didn’t get affected by her suggestions to cancel or alter the plan but to still go ahead and promised myself to make it happen.
Although I know what I did is correct yet my emotions always get affected by how people like to ‘pour cold water’ on me. I repeatedly ask myself the same question, why does she seems like always pinpoint me on whatever I do? But come to think again, I realized MANY friends or colleagues do like to criticize and object on all my decisions, ideas and even jokes! Sometimes when I am very eager to prove that I am right, I tend to became too tension and got lost control of my behavior.
I am still trying to figure out, what is wrong with me?
Is it because I am someone who cares a lot about how others see me?
Is it because I tend to make everyone around me pleased and happy, that sometimes they see me as a joker?
Is it because I am really as stupid and dumb like they think I am?
Why even people who said they love me didn’t show respect or trust me? Why don’t trust and respect come in together with the package of LOVE?

After all these unanswered questions arise in my head, I read the updated blog of my colleague who just did a liver donation operation. God blessed, she is recovering very fast and my trip to Ipoh was partly to visit her. Now everyone see her as an angel. And she is. Even by just looking at the pictures of her scars do make me feel the pain she had, or even much more painful than I think it should be.
She wrote that it was her first time seeing her divorced parents appear together and how happy she was to be able to grab a picture of them. I am thinking, how strong this girl is, and how lucky am I, because I get to see my parents together everyday, and she only has that ONE opportunity in her 20++ years.
I feel that, I must appreciate, appreciate and appreciate.
Things doesn’t come as we wished to. To get friends supporting me doesn’t come because it should be too.
I get friends who hurt me, who tend to destroy my confidence, who does not have confidence in me…that must be due to what I have failed to prove to them that they should appreciate me.
At the end of the story, I have to first appreciate people before I expect they appreciate me.

Mixed fortune…Zodiac guide to Ox year

Ram

Generally, it’s a favourable year. You have three big lucky stars but several unlucky stars around you. So you can expect to face some obstacles on the road to success.

Career This is the time for you to shine. Two lucky stars smile on your career. You should make significant progress and get promoted. Don’t be over-confident when you have achieved success. The salaried Ram may make more than sufficient money. It’s a good time for investments and new business ventures.

Love life With the influence of two unlucky stars, the Ram is likely to have arguments with his/her love interest. But you get to know each other better and take your relationship to the next level.

Health Watch out for signs of increased stress or burn-out. Take a good rest.

Take note: Although you may feel like a superhero, you’re definitely not one. Take precautions, like everyone else.

新年快乐 !!!

Gong Xi Fa Chai!!!!!

I wishes everyone ‘one sail wind smooth’!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Interesting google….

‘Chew’ the World!!!

Last Saturday, some of my colleagues and I had a one day trip to Singapore, visiting our colleague (the popular XeerSoft energy booster), who is now in Gleneagles Hospital, Singapore.

She did an operation to voluntarily donate part of her liver to a 13 years old girl, whom she has no relationship or to be exact, a stranger to her.
She did this to save the girl as with her life motto of Never Try, Never Know and 反正不会死.

I feedback on her blog,

ongki said…
chinese saying, “豹死留皮,人死留名”

死 also not scared, you have done such a great thing, up there will give u certificate for your good deeds..

i do not need to wish you, its deeply in our heart, you carry the best in you….

ongki said…
err, not sure if i convey my msg correctly, sounds not too right, anyway, i think the best description is….
you have no limit, nothing to scared….天不怕地不怕!!!

And she’s right, the hospital is like a 5 stars hotel! (except that they don’t have bathtub), otherwise the next time I am donating, I would request to go there too.

On Friday, I went bed at around 10pm, got wake up call at 1.45am, got picked up at around 315am.
Although I looked like having a good sleep during the approximately 6 hours journey to SG, but duh…my back is so uncomfortable and sleeping in the car of 5 is so much torturing. I was complaining, should have board Air Asia, can reach comfortably in less than an hour?

We totally have no idea the ways in Singapore. Luckily I brought the map and thanks to the surprisingly nice Singaporean who was driving a BMW 3 series, he kindly showed us the way straight till in front of the Gleneagles building. I have to say, Singaporean is much nicer than I already knew they are since 3 years back while working there.
This time going to Singapore after my last exit from the country in Jan, 2006, I was kinda excited.
Thought of having some of my favourite foods there (i.e. mee pok, mee hoon kuey, the japanese chicken satay), but time and energy was too much limited. Only managed to go Takashimaya and get some Toriyaki, the chicken satay. I bought about 7 sticks and finished all them by myself! Fat but who cares…

Okay, no more complains and foods, I’ve gotta say, the brief visit of Chew and the girl left me deep impression. Very deep.
Once we saw Chew, she looked dull and lost most of her energy. (she normally carries a 10 level energy with her all the times).
Well, what to expect for someone who had been operated for about 6 hours by 20 docs and nurses.
She can only have soft foods and fluids like soup, apple juice, and her lunch prepared by the hospital is like, mashed beans and potatoes.
She is tired but still manage to keep talking and talking for non stop. Salute her really.
As opposed to the five of us, we are like, don’t know what to talk. Only looking at her, feeling her pain, saluting her deed, admiring her angelic sacrifices.
I was thinking, her action made everyone rethink of themselves, at least to me.
Well, I don’t mind donating too, but it’s just a ‘talk’. Or maybe it’s because there isn’t anyone come to me and ask, ‘Can you donate your liver to me?’ Erm, yeah, maybe from now on, we can concern more on this kind of news, there are people out there who needs our help. To be able to save people’s life is so …. so encouraging, so happy, so pleasing…
We met the mother of the girl, she was taking care of Chew too.
She told us, ‘She saved my girl’s life’. I was touched deeply in my heart.
But I guess the moment my heart was really in pain and ached as if being taken out and got dumped into a pail of iced water, was at the moment when the nurse opened up the blind in the ICU room and I saw the unfortunate yet fortunate young girl right in front of my eyes.
She has fair complexion, round face shapes, round big eyes. She didn’t have much expression on her face.
Left us all speechless. Didn’t know what to talk again.
We only introduced that we were friends of Chew. Asked if she is still feeling pain. YR asked her to 加油.
My heart sank like Titanic after hitting on iceberg. God, I was so so so sad and feeling so bad.
Almost got my tears rolling down.
God, I pray upon you, please bless this girl. I will never forget her face and expression.

See, the pale Chew Chew and us.

I wish…

Recaps : Ongki in 2008

Last year’s resolutions and 2008 recaps

At work
1) Do my Eisentech project well, must have confidence, I aim to ask for increment once the project is well done no increment coz project failed

2) Learn from my managers, their capabilities, strategy – i cannot be a turtle, hidden under the shell anymore! – still learning

Life

1) Attend Juan’s graduation this coming May in Sydney and to visit Jun in Melbourne. – failed, they don’t have time to entertain me

2) To achieve 50K before new house is ready to move in – whether to move in is another story
- achieved half only, not moving in, rented out

3) Do not be easily mentally affected. – failed

4) Must have a balance and healthy lifestyle – spend time with family, friends and not just playing with the computer - failed

5) Keep good health, sleep early, wake up early! - failed

6) one last time, NEVER VISIT HIS WEBSITE ANYMORE!!!! Ongki, no one can hurt you except yourself!!!!! Let go!!!!!!!!!!!! - definitely failed

Jan
Not happy at work, efforts not appreciated.
AY trying to match make me with his wife’s best friend. (horrible)
More wedding news.

Feb
A snowy chinese new year in China. Frozen snow covering up the train rail. Ppl can’t go back hometown.
Sent regards to all my friends in China.
A warm CNY I had in Malaysia though. Betting with buddies.
Met cousin and her lovely daughter, beautiful like angel.
Still feeling hurt with the past. Still writing silly post for him.

Mar
I demand for appologies. He said SORRY. I sighed. No more excuse for me to linger on.
I am still learning to 放下一个人

Apr
- Trip to Perhentian.
- Enjoyed looking at the calm, peaceful sea. Sadly recalled the past but other than that, feeling energized to start on work again.
- Colleague’s trip to HZ, China, made me insane. Thinking about the ppl there.
- Lost myself. Totally couldn’t find back my own soul.

May
- Got to know that Kimberly is in a relationship. Feeling very moved and glad for her.
- Be friended with Hunter and his gf. Cute guy.
- China biggest earthquake. Sent regards to China friends.
- Sent him email wishing he’s fine and he replied yes.
- Poh Li’s wedding dinner. Everyone said me prettier.

Jun
- Started Roystar project, writing a travel agency software.
- Fei’s wedding dinner. Ongki officially the only unmarried and single among UMS housemates.
- Jealous at KS’s EOS 400D.
- Tendered for the first time.
- Boss told me the secret about his HZ encounters. Felt like got slapped, and a voice telling me to wake up and stop living in the past.
- Manager’s wedding. Wore a red dress, look like a 18 years old fatty girl

July
- MOST SIGNIFICANT EVENT IN MY LIFE, sent him email, saying “Thank you for removing Ongki from your life, thank you for removing you from Ongki’s life.”
- Slowly standing up again.
- Came in a lot of young boys as intern in company. They were whole lots of fun!
- Began to move on, began to laugh.
- Bought my EOS 450D. Still my best darling up to now.
- Wrote about 千手观音. My most infamous blog post up to now, I guess.
- Climbed Crystal Hill, couldn’t believe somewhere in KL has such breathtaking view.

Aug
- Beijing Olympic 08 08 2008. Proud of China!!!!
- Played paintball again, with Xeers, and hurt boss on his head. Feeling so guilty.

Sep
- Being the happiest ‘lao cha boh’ on earth
- Met a gang of young, energetic, funny, playful interns.

Oct
- Birthday month.
- Birthday, nothing special, except being treated like a Princess in XeerSoft.
- Launched alasha.com.my first time being a small small boss myself
- Got the key for my new condo, Dynasty Garden

Nov
- Tried to involve in Sales activity for the company. Great experience.
- Found myself truly a sales dummy.

Dec
- A colleagues called me 肥斯大只 (fei-si-dai-jek). Don’t know angry or happy.
- Juan’s wedding dinner. Been waiting for this day for the past 10++ years and it happened!
- Decided to do MBA in 2009.
- Rented out my nice condo
- Holiday cum work trip to Taiwan, spending Christmas and New Year in this wonderful and pleasant city.
- Lost my beloved diamond pendant with silver gold necklace during the trip, determined to get a better one next year

Not a very fruitful year, but definitely a significant one.
If 2006 is the turning point of me going uphill and 2007 is the one I’m coming down, I suppose 2008 is the year I was struggling so much to go up again.
Is 2009 the year of me going up again?

That depends on how I plan to succeed it. I have confidence, if I want, I surely can…

Going back to home…from Taiwan

finally…a 10 days trip is over.

I AM GOING BACK TO MY HOME SWEET HOME!!!!