Disaster #2

The first disaster happened for the first time about 6 months back. I can’t believe the very same disaster will happen twice. Did I over-estimated myself? or under-estimated the other party? or equally over-estimated him?
I thought he can and already handled. I leave it to him to “do something” but it didn’t work too well.
Feel my heart bleeding and I wish to give up
I am angry, sad and dissapointed, not because he failed me but I failed myself.
I failed to make him mine 100%. I am that type of girl who can’t accept 99%. It must and have to be 100%.
And now, what should I do??????

I Go – Aizat

A very nice song, from Talentime. Local production. I love especially the er-hu effect at the middle.
Brilliant compose!

So long, fare thee well
The dancer and the dancing days have taken leave and fell
So turn down this bed of stone
Quench me with the deadly nightshade from the rose that you belong

The long December rain is falling now
Running down on streets to nowhere
Music is my life you’re my sweetest nightingale
But I can’t hear it here no more
And I go
I go

Hush now, don’t shake or break
Words have fallen silent like soldiers to the grave
No matter what they do or say
Lay me on the sleepy meadow by the tracks upon your face

Movie #12 with him – UP

#12 UP (Cartoon), **** 4 stars (worth my time)

I heard from almost everyone that this movie is good. We have been trying to get ticket few times but was disappointed. This evening however, we made it! Although my mood wasn’t that good, but the movie made me laugh so much. It is very meaningful.
After the movie, we had short discussion, I said, ‘…do not let go off your dream’. I also said, ‘..it’s not really the ending whether he can fulfill his -crossed-heart promise that matters, it’s the process that means, which explains the scene where Mr.Fred flips the Adventure book and realized his wife puts the lovely pictures of them together. We both agree this is the most touching scene of all.
I learnt this phrase,

Cross One’s Heart – If you say something from the heart or from the bottom of your heart, you sincerely mean what you say.

Movie #11 with him – Tsunami

#11 Tsunami (Korea), *** 3 stars (can be better)

The most expensive movie ever watched so far. At GSC Signature, The Gardens, with his brother.
RM20 per ticket. 3 of us, cost him RM60! for a 3 stars movie! lol

I was kinda dissapointed because I am expecting something more than this. They could have emphasis more on the disaster itself. But it’s not too bad, the mega waves showed on screen did amuse me.
I couldn’t stop myself from imagining the actual disaster that happened at Acheh in 2004.

There were few scenes where I have dropped tears. And I took this opportunity to lie on his chest and silently cried. He didn’t know, but I think he already calmed me. My mind was thinking about An Qi, actually.

Movie #10 with him – Where Got Ghost

#10 Where Got Ghost(Singapore), * 1 star (one of the most pa-lia horror movie, it’s the last story about the ‘mother’ that gains the only star(*)

Got watch ‘Money Not Enough’ or not? This is the same director, Jack Neo’s work.
Erm, it’s a mixture of comedy and horror. Not much horror but it keeps emphasizing on the Singaporean’s Singlish that tickles me and I believe most of the audience.
‘…next time don’t steal my “olen”‘…..adui…

The last story about the three baka son on Money Not Enough appears again, with their mother spirit causing a lot of chaos to them, only to realize at the end that she is indeed blessing them by protecting their health and safety.

He and I both regret chose to watch this over ‘UP’.

Meme: Save Yvonne’s Sight

I laughed a lot today. I have a cute boyfriend, wonderful boss, caring friends and a bunch of marvelous colleagues who made me laugh a lot.
It was a ‘special’ day because don’t know how, I was drinking water and all of a sudden I choked and ‘phooooooooooo’ the water out like a fountain splashing water. Whole office looking at me.
Can’t imagine how it looks like? Just like this,

If I could find a hole, I would need this place to hide immediately!
I thought of the phrase, “仙女散花”。 And immediately, I got the next connecting phrase, “liang lui pen sui”.
Can’t help but life goes on even after such an embarrassing act.

Okay, all i wanna say is, we don’t laugh, we don’t happen to be happy just because we are born with it.
Do not take these bless for granted. Be thankful. Some people out there, are not laughing as easy as we can.
They take a lot of efforts to smile…just like Yvonne. I don’t know her but one of my colleague happen to tag me to help promoting. I didn’t think much and start thinking how blessed am I and how easy I can help her.
Just write a blog entry che ma, as easy as that…but of course, do visit her blog here and you’ll find her such a normal person but so physically not normal.

Yvnonne wrote,

I have been through four surgeries since my diagnosis in year 2002. Not only did it bring me a lot of pain, it also introduced me new perspectives in life. It gave me opportunities to see the world and meet people from different cultur because of NF, I des. For all the difficulty I faced, I wish it could be easier for others to accept NF. Hence, I dedicate my website to raising awareness, in hopes that more people will be comfortable with it.

Neurofibromatosis(NF) is an illness of the nervous system. It causes benign tumors to grow in our body all our lives. There is currently no known cure for NF.

I’d really love to see her laughing as easy and as often as I do. I’d love to read her blog saying her operations were successful! I’d love to see her leading a normal yet great life like everyone else of us do.

You can also help by sending on this meme. If you do, please follow these meme rules:

1) Create a blog entry titled “Meme: Save Yvonne’s Sight”

2) List three things you love to see. Add in the picture of Yvonne’s book cover. The URL is http://www.yvonnefoong.com/images/banner/my-story.jpg

3) End with the line, “Yvonne Foong is in danger of losing her eyesight thanks to neurofibromatosis (NF). Please find out how you can help her by visiting her blog at http://www.yvonnefoong.com

4) Tag 5 blog friends. Be sure to copy the rules, OK?

5) And if you want to blog about NF, that would be great too!

5 friends….
Ruru
Chi Mien
Chilam’s
Ah Yong

Yvonne Foong is in danger of losing her eyesight thanks to neurofibromatosis (NF). Please find out how you can help her by visiting her blog at http://www.yvonnefoong.com

Satisfaction

&

Today at around 11pm, as usual, I switched off my notebook, packed and left the office. Mind was tired trying to fix some bugs in the system. Feeling guilty because I have yet to draft the design spec for the costing module that boss will need on Friday.

Feeling exhausted, the same old question appeared again. How come I am doing so many roles in this project? How come only me who has to do almost everything? How come I am involved in almost every phases of this project? If we are talking about SDLC, I’ve already did Requirement, Analysis, Design, Development, Implementation including Support.

Every once a while, I have to attend meetings to gather clients requirement, worst is the requirement is difficult to digest since the lady boss often talks in a “language” that I do not understand her. Often boss come into the picture to rescue but the synchronization of inputs between the three of us is a big question mark left unanswered! And then once a while, I have to, although I tried hard to escape those meetings with end user which ended up like bargaining in “pasar-malam”.

After a so-called requirements gathering, I often have to draft the system design, and then show manager, which sometimes is another “language” to me too. I blame myself sometimes couldn’t translate or even deliver the client’s request exactly to manager. In the end, I am left alone to think how to make it happen. Have to do analysis and this is my weakest point. I don’t like to think logic unfortunately

And often it is done parallel with development work. Development, meaning programming, is done by me, 90% of the codes is written by Elaine Ong and at the end of the day, no one is going to know what it is about
Good thing is I have few interns to help out but i am often in struggling mode when they can’t deliver what I expect. Last few weeks, had a misunderstanding with one of the intern. I realized, they need time and I can’t expect too much from them. I’ve been coding for 7 years but they are not even 7 months!
Good thing is, it is all my say when I code. I don’t care whatever standards as long as it benefits the system and user, and not the programmer. The reason why it will always take me longer time to code is because the output has to be user friendly(which XS currently lack of) and the input(the codes) has to be dynamic, reusable, and easily to be understood. Worst still, after code, I have to roll to server and i often leave the testing job to other colleagues and some times will create mistakes due to lack of testing. Today, all users couldn’t issue bills because I changed the money format from 1188 to 1,188. Adui…..

Next is implementation. When the system is deployed to live, I have to standby at client offices. Listening to the end user sarcastically comment on my system. Hello….it’s just you who don’t know how to appreciate. Give you XS existing module, you are dead!

I can’t run away from doing support, although I have a very good support guy who is mainly doing that.
Poor boy that often gets unfair and hurtful emails from the lady boss.
Have to fix bugs, reply emails during the weekend.

Last week was Matta Fair, one of Malaysia’s most popular fair, although this time it’s kinda not as happening as the previous, due to H1N1, i guess. But it must be one of the most remarkable for me. Client is using my system live, and most of the travel agency’s are not using any online system. Hey! My efforts got its return!
Despite the problematic printer issues, everything is fine, at least during the three days.
About 10 to 20 users are using my system live at the same time!!!! A very great experience for me. And this summarized and answered my questions. Yes, i have to multitask and being busy with great responsibility but it’s a chance to learn more, isn’t it?
After the complains, I often tell myself, ‘…do not count on what have you done, but to measure what else to be done to achieve success’.
I believe so. I see and learn this from my manager who often make things work and just did everything without complaining(not to me at least).

Matta Fair was tiring but it’s fun and I am mostly impressed with the teamwork that my colleagues and fellow interns show. Even the picky lady boss is satisfied.

QA – all the way from Malacca. The pretty one.

Now, this is the handsome boy who often gets ‘bomb’ from client. I called him Dung Dung Chang, because he is such a typical hakka boy, talk very loud!

XeerSoft Travel or TravelSoft but not …Hacked by Godzilla…who install this computer?!!!

End user using system, keying customer’s information

The interns and junior. Very good spirit and very helpful! Muacks!

Okay, that’s all for now. So, Ongki please stop complaining and keep working SMART and HARD! Ganbatte!!!

It is only a fine line between LOVE and HATE

An ex-colleague broke up with bf, it was such a high profile broke up that she published name and even pictures in her blog. I met the couple before. Ops, ‘then’ couple.
Honestly, I felt the way she handle is really kiddy.
I dropped her a message, I wrote, ‘…falling down in life is inevitable. we have to learn how to fall gracefully’.
She didn’t accept because she said I am saying she’s not graceful.
But honestly, that’s all I have learnt through my own experience.
Me too, was once very childish, keep hurting a guy whom I said I love so much. And of course, he didn’t hurt me less, as much as if strangling me with his own hands that I almost got breathless.

Sometimes, it’s really meaningless to hurt each other, by destroying the beautiful memories that were once shared.
Why do that? Why erase the happy ones and replaced with ugly, horrible memories?
He’s after all, someone that meant everything to you, before. You claimed that you love him forever. But how ‘forever’ is that? What does love means? Love doesn’t depend on whether he slept with another girl or not.
Love doesn’t valid only if he is willing to be with you. Love means, even when he denied you, or betrayed you, you will still wish him the best for the choice he made?

Someone wrote,

Loving someone entails putting a whole load of trust in them. This makes you very vulnerable to having that trust abused. When this happens you end up feeling all betrayed, and for some of us that usually goes straight on into hatred.