You see difficulties as opportunities to test your strength and endurance. Apply yourself to do better. You learn by doing and by understanding difficulties and complexities.

Got inspired by this infamous blogger namely, Kenny Sia.

Regretted that my own blog is all about love, love and still love. Nothing really beneficial to myself or reader. But its initially setup to save a copy of memories. And it turned out that my memories are all about failure in love life. So ashame of myself.

Decided to start a brand new day starting from now. Thanks Jun for sending me the link that change my life, or is it too early to say that i will change? Don’t know but its definitely a good motivation for me.

Finally

moved to Pasir Panjang Road

. CY’s house. Everything is perfect and fantastic so far, in fact still excited with this comfortable and nice new home.

I’ve been trying to list the pro and cons of moving from Telok Blangah. Many asked for the reason, I doesn’t really seriously answer them. Well, let me try to list as many as possible:

Pro:

1) Don’t have to worry about doing *big business* and toilet got choked again! yahooooo !!!

2) Don’t have to suffer the dim lightings and hot colors of the wall, furnitures and floor.
3) Don’t have to listen to Peggy(land lady) nags
4) Don’t have to worry she enters my room without permission.
5) Don’t have to use the earphone to listen to music, because there are no sounds of buses passes.
6) Can online 24 hours!!!
7) Can cook without worrying the utensils are antiques
Can board a double decker bus
9) Can feel the cooling air-cond, instead of adjusting the standing fan.
10) Can use a broom to sweep the floor.

Guess these reasons are good enough to explain or justify the extra S$60 for this new place.

My birthday, happy birthday Ongki. Wishing you good health, good money, good emotion and hopes u regain *yurself*!!!! Be the happy go lucky and cheerful Ongki again!!!

Its over anyway, although it was not a great one, but its definitely one to be remembered….
The clock tickered to the first second of the day, and I was gambling at Genting
Lose RM50 but its actually fun to gamble
I think I am truly a “lan dou kuai”.
Was in Genting with WNS buddies. Well, my first time meeting the key person of WNS, Sherman…quite a difference from my impression on him. But damn, he couldn’t recall who is Elaine Ong!! Grrrr…
Had bak kut teh at Kepong. Reminded me of him everytime going to Kepong.
Met Kwok Siang, got the “Jewel in the Palace” DVD. He’s really my saviour.
Many of my loneliness nights shall be filled now.
I really envy those WNS buddies. They are so close to each other….care for each other…cindy and kenson especially, really funny seeing cindy sarcastically making fun of Kenson for smoking. haha…like mother and son !!

Reached home 3am! And guess what, woke up at 8am to Wai Leng’s place. Luckily Chen gave me a call, else I will definitely miss it.
Met her for the very first time since that sms war. Was very uneasy.
But at least she’s the one who at least offer me a drink first.
But she never really wish me for my birthday. That’s cruel enough
Well, i guess i am demoted to her hi and bye friend. At least still a friend.
I don’t mind, its her choice. I know I am not a good friend. I know….I don’t blame her at all…my heart will always welcome her back to my heart….
JY, feel warm to meet her again.

The next person I wanna meet is Feli. She’s truly a friend of mine who will never hurt me, never dislike me for my bad attitude, never bored with me and always concern about me. Although sometimes she sounded boring to me cox she’s too obssessed with her work…but i am learning to be a good listener. and not only talk about myself, but to listen to others…i tried…i hope i do it good enough.
Went look around for watch…but couldnt see any suitable. Ended up visiting Sasa, trimmed my eyebrow and bought some makeup pieces. Really costly…
But Feli then agree to replace the watch with the makeups. Well…at least it saves me about hundred ringgit.

In the evening, fetched Chen to the dinnner, it was a grand one. I think i dressed my best. But dissapointed with the hair-do. Could be better. Make up all by myself. Proud really…i finally can make up on my own! Very happy for WL..her face shines the happiness. I think i will always remember her cute face when she passed by our table to change her gown. She said, “i am busy, i need to change gown”.
haha, her face is so cute. yeh, she’s always the cutie. too bad a yat not here, else we will have a good reunion of ‘lan tan’ but i guess….its very difficult to have this day in the future…

Both WL and AQ has a bunch of buddies…who has been so helpful, from what i see, photographers, organisers etc.
Was waiting for CK and he did appear, in a very casual attire. But still look good
He’s just charming to me.

Okay, happy things are mentioned. Here comes the disaster story.
Doesn’t know what happened to my family. I thought going back this time will relief everything…but it turned out that, i left the house in anger and sadness.
Doesnt know what happened to father, because of his sickness?
i know i am wrong. but don’t they realise i already tried my best to change?
no they don’t. cox they never know hows my life here in singapore. i have never been this poor, never been this saving. each dollar spent is like cutting my flesh.
thought of giving more $$$ to parents but the situation makes me hate to pay them.
selling avanza and kancil. i don’t wish too, deeply from my heart. I like my avanza.
But he’s selling. And the anger in my mind is telling me that I will never go back KL if not necessary. I don’t want to know what happen to them anymore, I am sick of this money minded family. Enough for me. I don’t care if they don’t bother my life death here in Sg as well. Even if i am dying, i will not wan them to know. ((
Its insane….how father talked to me, how my tears keep rolling down like waterfall everytime they pressurize me on $$$. I am dissapointed, really dissapointed.

Ya, real bad lucks.
Mom admitted to hospital, dad and brother the following week, on the same day.
My family has never been this ‘sui’ before. A real test for all of us and it’s proven that we do really care for each other that much.

I myself is not any good, as my right eye was swollen and got red. Even a light blink cause pain. Went see doctor and very impressed with the professionalism of Sg doctor. Thank god it got healed very quickly.

Yup, all things got better, father starts working, bro resting at home.
I am sure the bad lucks are all gone….waiting for the good one to arrive..

Thanks to the anonymous who posted the comment.
Yup, my mom’s condition is good so far. Just that she will not be able to walk for 6 weeks, and to struggle with her new *companion*, namely the walking sticks.

As for me, I feel bad cox I am not around to help.
I did many things that I never do before in my lifetime last weekend when i was in KL. I was helping my mom to cook! Can you believe it!!! I am really unfilial.
But as time goes by, its getting more obvious that mom loves me so much more than sis, that sis started to complain. Mom still prepare the mushrooms to cook soup for me! I really salute her, still manage to ‘dung dung dung’ to the kitchen!
And for that, I drank a lot of the soup, until i burbed and felt the soup reaches my throat! haha….

It’s not something unexpected anyway, as sis always make mom angry. But glad that sis never respond negatively to this.
She still helped mom to settle her insurance matters and help out the houseworks.
Sis told me that mom was crying beside father when she was waiting in the hospital for the operation to start. I am so sad to hear, gosh, mom must be really scared…
But again, too bad I am not there…

Aunt ‘Mui’, uncle and cousins came visit mom. They all know the news were because I told Aunt Foong..hehe…
Luckily they came visit, else i will be really dissapointed.
Brian and Brendan are so cute, especially Brian. oh..is it Brian? i got messed up with their names again…his big eyes and blur blur gestures…haha…
And they now each have Brendan fish and Brian fish! haha…

Thats how I spent the Saturday and Sunday, staying at home accompanying mom.
Oh ya, sold my Ferrari shoe to brother. I think he likes it a lot, he was so excited and happy, that he wore it once the shoe belongs to him.
I felt bad cox i am selling to him…should have just give him as a gift…but well, he’s always richer than me…never mind…

It was a fruitful weekend though, i met MungSoon and gf at Carefour, and then Kar Yee on Saturday. On sunday, at KLCC, i bumped into AB and hubby.
And the most surprising event was when i spotted CK on the same bus as I boarded the bus back to SG! I was so nervous…looking at his face only makes me feel like wan to laugh.
It’s really humiliating recalling what I did to him when we were in F6.
He got thinner, smaller size, especially his face shape. And guess what, he’s been working in SG for 3 years already, at Raffles Quay, so near my office.
But i think he’s not as sissy as he used to be. Actually, he’s very ‘si men’, unfair to say that he’s sissy.
I wish he will call me out for drinks sometimes…but don’t think so…haha

Many events recently but I am still lazy to update blog.
But got the news about mom admitted to hospital.
Sounds serious but I hope its not.
Her leg broken, sister told its the nerve broken but then just now bro updated me, it’s actually the leg bone broken.
I really wish to be with her but it’s always like that…
things happen at home when I am not around, or shall i say,

when things happen, i am always not around

. I really hate it! Dad did apendix operation and i was at Sabah. Hate it!
Feel that I am really an unfilial daughter!
I prayed for mom. Hope she’ll be doing fine.
Her leg has been causing many suffers to her, I hope after this op, she’ll don’t have to suffer the pain anymore.
Will go back KL this weekend to see her. But the problem is I am very very tight.
Don’t even have money to dinner

Dream Dictionary says,

Dreaming that you are being chased means that you are avoiding a situation that you do not think is conquerable. It is often a metaphor for some form of insecurity. In particular, to dream that you are chased by an animal, represents your own unexpressed and unacknowledged anger which is being projected onto that animal. Alternatively, you may be running away from a primal urge or fear. Dreaming that you are chasing someone means that you are attempting to overcome a difficult goal or task. You may also be expressing some aggressive feelings toward others.

All goes well.

10th Aug
Reached Sg at about 12.30pm. The bus journey was boring, no new guy to meet this time
Sg night view is especially beautiful this time, I was surprised that there was not even a bit of haze.

Reached Golden Mile, took cab to Chen Yee’s place at Pasir Panjang, cost $9.90. Very nice properties around, luxurious actually. Thanks to Sing Yee and sister, else I will have to sleep by the Sg street.
Met CY, her bf and the German tenant here. A bit of guilty that I will be sleeping in the master room with CY and her bf will have to sleep in the living room. Sorry really.

11th Aug
Guess what, i woke up at about 11am the next day. My sensitive nose was making me very tired. Sneezing, especially in the aircon room.
Started my first day journey in SG once stepped out from the house.
Bus stop is just a few steps away from the house. boarded the bus no. 30. Reached opposite of HarbourFront, with $1.10. Journey took about 20 mins.
Decided to have my lunch at the foodcourt nearby, Seah Im foodcourt. Had the Hainan Chicken Rice.
The chicken slices was really small that i think i can finish them with just a few spoons of rice, $3.30.
Bought Lychee drink, $1.

Walked to the Harbour Front Centre, passed by some shops, very attractive, clothes and shoes are cheap.
But thinking that I am actually spending my RM here, it killed all my thought to buy things.

Got into the MRT and reached Dhoby Ghaut Interchange. Just two stations away.
It’s another shopping and I have no idea where I was. Refering to the street directory, the place i need to go seems near. Asked a Malay guy, good looking…how to go Middle Road. He taught me to take the bus no. 167. I was following him because he actually need to board the same bus. Just another 2 stations in front, he told me to walk all the way to my left once i got down.

The place getting more familiar to me as I walked nearer and nearer to Middle Road.
Walked for about half an hour. Reach IOI Plaza, went up straight to the SquareRoot Off.
Met Audrey, she did not sound too friendly, because she was expecting me to reach the office in the morning. And told me that many ppl are actually waiting for me. She has quite a pretty face with a very ‘in’ hairstyle, in her t-shirt and jeans but quite fat.Even the t-shirt couldnt hide her spare typre
Looks really arrogant to me. Not a good impression on her.

She talked the the Frence people on the phone. And then brought me to meet them somehwere near Raffles Place, not quite sure the exact place but that should be the heart of the city as its really a lot of ppl and high-rise building around.

Finally met Jean and Antoine. Both French. They are so much more friendlier than Audrey.
Not handsome. But there is a leng chai officemate around, who is quite arrogant as well.
Don’t bother.
Pretty dissapointed actually because I did not expect the office is this small and unstructured.
Its just like the workplace of a few programmers, Jean, Antoine and Audrey(another Audrey).
Computer boxes everywere, servers and books all in a room with the size of a pantry
Do no like it actually. But I am thinking, that could be a good place to start learning from the bottom again, well, such thinking is to flatter myself. Often remind myself, No Regret, I Chose.
But one good thing is, I feel myself appreciated, from the way they show me around, the new PC they bought and attitudes towards me, is just like a VIP. Really appreciates the 17″ IBM flat screen monitor, haha!
And then Audrey brought me to The Medical Practice to do medical exams, nothing much was checked except blood pressure and extracted some blood for further test. Then Audrey sent me to The Paragon and left me alone to find the Radiologist Center to do the x-rays. Well, Audrey seems to go everywhere in taxis.

It just took few minutes to complete the whole process to get the chest x-rays. Will the x-rays detect my cysts? No idea, lets see the result later.

Left The Paragon, which i assume must be a high class shopping mall, from the shops and decor of the building. Just like a 5 stars hotel. And then i forgot which direction I walked to, and reached Orchard Rd.
Passed by Ngee Ann City or Takashimaya, the names that i heard a lot from Fei Fei.
Then as usual, checking up the Bus Directory to reach Tiong Bahru, as I have a room viewing there in about an hour later. But was rather hungry, so walked a little bit further up and had my dinner at McD.
While eating the foldover pie, I browse the directory again. Ordered an ice lemon tea, but that fella gave me a coke….was rather frusfrated because i actually drank a few sips. As usual, had my meal very quick, then get back to the bus stop. Out of a sudden, there’s a Malay guy, very sissy, asked me for direction. I have no idea and i showed him the bus directory i am holding in my hand. He was very shocked and embarased. Laughed with his friends arnd. Me too burst into laughter. I said i can borrow him the directory but he seems not interested to look at it at all.
Well, don’t care la, i gotta find my way. And then got in to a bus no. 16, but driver told me to board the same number bus opposite the road wor, or wait for bus 123. Luck on me again, as the bus behind is just 123. Got onto the bus and safely reached Tiong Bahru not long after.

Reached Tiong Bahru, need to see the room at Bo Bo Gardens. Met Siti Khadijah, the agent that intro the place to me. The flat itself is old. The owners are FIlipino, a family of 3, parents and a kid. The place is really old, aircon is those old type. Moreover, she charges $400. Definitely a no no for me. Waste my time and effort really.

I made some calls at Tiong Bahru Plaza, trying luck but too bad, not even the agent can get a room for me there. Walked for about half an hour at the mall, nothing special. Took MRT to Outram Park, and then get change to HarbourFront. Take the same number bus back to Pasir Panjang. And there goes my first day of myself in SG….

Interesting. Although it did not turned out to be as adventurous as I thought and planned to be, it was still a memorable experience.
Last Saturday nite, AS drove me to PuduRaya. He came in to my doorstep to get me and then we went yum cha for a while. I think his image is scarying mom and sister. They were calling to ask wether he’s a male or female Sis was even more scarrier, told me not to play around and spoil my own future! What the heck….I am not 18, but 26 already ler…and AS is definitely a good fren, no worry. And they actually called Aunt Foong telling her I will be in Sg. Aih….troubling ppl again…

Got on this ‘Konsortium’ bus. I was the last to get on the bus and got the last seat, which is a bit bouncy. But luckily, still managed to get a good sleep.
Many hours later, ppl were getting down the bus, and i was blurred sitting on there looking around with no idea what to do. Bus driver then told me to get down. Couldnt hear exactly what he said, but its something about the passport.
So I just follow where the people go and many question marks on my face. The officer just browse through the passport. Nothing special done to the passport.
Then got up the bus again. I was wondering why is the passport not being stamped.
Asked this guy who moved his seat beside mine. His name, Lok. Lok told me that we have not reach the kastam yet. Then we started the intro session. So this guy was going Sg for meeting, he cant speak english too well, same age as me, graduted from UM and is now in the advertising line. He is a copywriter in Feng Shui.