Thanks to the anonymous who posted the comment.
Yup, my mom’s condition is good so far. Just that she will not be able to walk for 6 weeks, and to struggle with her new *companion*, namely the walking sticks.

As for me, I feel bad cox I am not around to help.
I did many things that I never do before in my lifetime last weekend when i was in KL. I was helping my mom to cook! Can you believe it!!! I am really unfilial.
But as time goes by, its getting more obvious that mom loves me so much more than sis, that sis started to complain. Mom still prepare the mushrooms to cook soup for me! I really salute her, still manage to ‘dung dung dung’ to the kitchen!
And for that, I drank a lot of the soup, until i burbed and felt the soup reaches my throat! haha….

It’s not something unexpected anyway, as sis always make mom angry. But glad that sis never respond negatively to this.
She still helped mom to settle her insurance matters and help out the houseworks.
Sis told me that mom was crying beside father when she was waiting in the hospital for the operation to start. I am so sad to hear, gosh, mom must be really scared…
But again, too bad I am not there…

Aunt ‘Mui’, uncle and cousins came visit mom. They all know the news were because I told Aunt Foong..hehe…
Luckily they came visit, else i will be really dissapointed.
Brian and Brendan are so cute, especially Brian. oh..is it Brian? i got messed up with their names again…his big eyes and blur blur gestures…haha…
And they now each have Brendan fish and Brian fish! haha…

Thats how I spent the Saturday and Sunday, staying at home accompanying mom.
Oh ya, sold my Ferrari shoe to brother. I think he likes it a lot, he was so excited and happy, that he wore it once the shoe belongs to him.
I felt bad cox i am selling to him…should have just give him as a gift…but well, he’s always richer than me…never mind…

It was a fruitful weekend though, i met MungSoon and gf at Carefour, and then Kar Yee on Saturday. On sunday, at KLCC, i bumped into AB and hubby.
And the most surprising event was when i spotted CK on the same bus as I boarded the bus back to SG! I was so nervous…looking at his face only makes me feel like wan to laugh.
It’s really humiliating recalling what I did to him when we were in F6.
He got thinner, smaller size, especially his face shape. And guess what, he’s been working in SG for 3 years already, at Raffles Quay, so near my office.
But i think he’s not as sissy as he used to be. Actually, he’s very ‘si men’, unfair to say that he’s sissy.
I wish he will call me out for drinks sometimes…but don’t think so…haha

Many events recently but I am still lazy to update blog.
But got the news about mom admitted to hospital.
Sounds serious but I hope its not.
Her leg broken, sister told its the nerve broken but then just now bro updated me, it’s actually the leg bone broken.
I really wish to be with her but it’s always like that…
things happen at home when I am not around, or shall i say,

when things happen, i am always not around

. I really hate it! Dad did apendix operation and i was at Sabah. Hate it!
Feel that I am really an unfilial daughter!
I prayed for mom. Hope she’ll be doing fine.
Her leg has been causing many suffers to her, I hope after this op, she’ll don’t have to suffer the pain anymore.
Will go back KL this weekend to see her. But the problem is I am very very tight.
Don’t even have money to dinner

Dream Dictionary says,

Dreaming that you are being chased means that you are avoiding a situation that you do not think is conquerable. It is often a metaphor for some form of insecurity. In particular, to dream that you are chased by an animal, represents your own unexpressed and unacknowledged anger which is being projected onto that animal. Alternatively, you may be running away from a primal urge or fear. Dreaming that you are chasing someone means that you are attempting to overcome a difficult goal or task. You may also be expressing some aggressive feelings toward others.

All goes well.

10th Aug
Reached Sg at about 12.30pm. The bus journey was boring, no new guy to meet this time
Sg night view is especially beautiful this time, I was surprised that there was not even a bit of haze.

Reached Golden Mile, took cab to Chen Yee’s place at Pasir Panjang, cost $9.90. Very nice properties around, luxurious actually. Thanks to Sing Yee and sister, else I will have to sleep by the Sg street.
Met CY, her bf and the German tenant here. A bit of guilty that I will be sleeping in the master room with CY and her bf will have to sleep in the living room. Sorry really.

11th Aug
Guess what, i woke up at about 11am the next day. My sensitive nose was making me very tired. Sneezing, especially in the aircon room.
Started my first day journey in SG once stepped out from the house.
Bus stop is just a few steps away from the house. boarded the bus no. 30. Reached opposite of HarbourFront, with $1.10. Journey took about 20 mins.
Decided to have my lunch at the foodcourt nearby, Seah Im foodcourt. Had the Hainan Chicken Rice.
The chicken slices was really small that i think i can finish them with just a few spoons of rice, $3.30.
Bought Lychee drink, $1.

Walked to the Harbour Front Centre, passed by some shops, very attractive, clothes and shoes are cheap.
But thinking that I am actually spending my RM here, it killed all my thought to buy things.

Got into the MRT and reached Dhoby Ghaut Interchange. Just two stations away.
It’s another shopping and I have no idea where I was. Refering to the street directory, the place i need to go seems near. Asked a Malay guy, good looking…how to go Middle Road. He taught me to take the bus no. 167. I was following him because he actually need to board the same bus. Just another 2 stations in front, he told me to walk all the way to my left once i got down.

The place getting more familiar to me as I walked nearer and nearer to Middle Road.
Walked for about half an hour. Reach IOI Plaza, went up straight to the SquareRoot Off.
Met Audrey, she did not sound too friendly, because she was expecting me to reach the office in the morning. And told me that many ppl are actually waiting for me. She has quite a pretty face with a very ‘in’ hairstyle, in her t-shirt and jeans but quite fat.Even the t-shirt couldnt hide her spare typre
Looks really arrogant to me. Not a good impression on her.

She talked the the Frence people on the phone. And then brought me to meet them somehwere near Raffles Place, not quite sure the exact place but that should be the heart of the city as its really a lot of ppl and high-rise building around.

Finally met Jean and Antoine. Both French. They are so much more friendlier than Audrey.
Not handsome. But there is a leng chai officemate around, who is quite arrogant as well.
Don’t bother.
Pretty dissapointed actually because I did not expect the office is this small and unstructured.
Its just like the workplace of a few programmers, Jean, Antoine and Audrey(another Audrey).
Computer boxes everywere, servers and books all in a room with the size of a pantry
Do no like it actually. But I am thinking, that could be a good place to start learning from the bottom again, well, such thinking is to flatter myself. Often remind myself, No Regret, I Chose.
But one good thing is, I feel myself appreciated, from the way they show me around, the new PC they bought and attitudes towards me, is just like a VIP. Really appreciates the 17″ IBM flat screen monitor, haha!
And then Audrey brought me to The Medical Practice to do medical exams, nothing much was checked except blood pressure and extracted some blood for further test. Then Audrey sent me to The Paragon and left me alone to find the Radiologist Center to do the x-rays. Well, Audrey seems to go everywhere in taxis.

It just took few minutes to complete the whole process to get the chest x-rays. Will the x-rays detect my cysts? No idea, lets see the result later.

Left The Paragon, which i assume must be a high class shopping mall, from the shops and decor of the building. Just like a 5 stars hotel. And then i forgot which direction I walked to, and reached Orchard Rd.
Passed by Ngee Ann City or Takashimaya, the names that i heard a lot from Fei Fei.
Then as usual, checking up the Bus Directory to reach Tiong Bahru, as I have a room viewing there in about an hour later. But was rather hungry, so walked a little bit further up and had my dinner at McD.
While eating the foldover pie, I browse the directory again. Ordered an ice lemon tea, but that fella gave me a coke….was rather frusfrated because i actually drank a few sips. As usual, had my meal very quick, then get back to the bus stop. Out of a sudden, there’s a Malay guy, very sissy, asked me for direction. I have no idea and i showed him the bus directory i am holding in my hand. He was very shocked and embarased. Laughed with his friends arnd. Me too burst into laughter. I said i can borrow him the directory but he seems not interested to look at it at all.
Well, don’t care la, i gotta find my way. And then got in to a bus no. 16, but driver told me to board the same number bus opposite the road wor, or wait for bus 123. Luck on me again, as the bus behind is just 123. Got onto the bus and safely reached Tiong Bahru not long after.

Reached Tiong Bahru, need to see the room at Bo Bo Gardens. Met Siti Khadijah, the agent that intro the place to me. The flat itself is old. The owners are FIlipino, a family of 3, parents and a kid. The place is really old, aircon is those old type. Moreover, she charges $400. Definitely a no no for me. Waste my time and effort really.

I made some calls at Tiong Bahru Plaza, trying luck but too bad, not even the agent can get a room for me there. Walked for about half an hour at the mall, nothing special. Took MRT to Outram Park, and then get change to HarbourFront. Take the same number bus back to Pasir Panjang. And there goes my first day of myself in SG….

Interesting. Although it did not turned out to be as adventurous as I thought and planned to be, it was still a memorable experience.
Last Saturday nite, AS drove me to PuduRaya. He came in to my doorstep to get me and then we went yum cha for a while. I think his image is scarying mom and sister. They were calling to ask wether he’s a male or female Sis was even more scarrier, told me not to play around and spoil my own future! What the heck….I am not 18, but 26 already ler…and AS is definitely a good fren, no worry. And they actually called Aunt Foong telling her I will be in Sg. Aih….troubling ppl again…

Got on this ‘Konsortium’ bus. I was the last to get on the bus and got the last seat, which is a bit bouncy. But luckily, still managed to get a good sleep.
Many hours later, ppl were getting down the bus, and i was blurred sitting on there looking around with no idea what to do. Bus driver then told me to get down. Couldnt hear exactly what he said, but its something about the passport.
So I just follow where the people go and many question marks on my face. The officer just browse through the passport. Nothing special done to the passport.
Then got up the bus again. I was wondering why is the passport not being stamped.
Asked this guy who moved his seat beside mine. His name, Lok. Lok told me that we have not reach the kastam yet. Then we started the intro session. So this guy was going Sg for meeting, he cant speak english too well, same age as me, graduted from UM and is now in the advertising line. He is a copywriter in Feng Shui.

It’s set. Everything is fixed. No more changing, no more indecisive.
Ms Heng forced me to give decision. I asked around and based on my own preference + instinct, I made my final decision to choose Sg. No more regret, its all my own decision.
But one bad news is, Sky will not be confirm by CIS
That’s really cruel. I never expect this could happen. It’s terrible actually.
Felt unfair for him. A bit dissapointed with CIS.
Anyway, I am sure Sky is still young to accept that decision. He still can afford to search for job geh. But for old ppl like me, its really risky.
Risky, really risky.
Never thought i am this worry and scared when the times has come.
Doris only told me I took risky decision after i confirmed my resignation. Duh…
But Ms Heng didn’t mention will welcome me back if anything goes wrong there
But glad she’s wishing me all the best.
I really like CIS colleagues. I’ve never feel this unwilling to resign, not in WNS, not in NZ! Almost cried out. But still manage to control.
Not sure if it’s still controlable on my last day on 29th.
Aih…felt uneasy, sad, scared, worry…no more feeling exciting! haha…sei mei….

Been really close to Sky these few days. I guess everyone in the office are suspecting us to be couple. But I don’t worry at all, cox i know we both doesnt have that intention and we made clear our thinking to each other. No la…it’s not possible between he and I. Especially after a very straightforward chat in the car tonite. I dun like guys younger than me.

Had a brief chat with Ms Heng.
Told her honestly that I am going Sg to seek for more working exposure and would like to try living in a different world. She said I can go China if i stay in CIS wor. But not really very interested. But still seems to be considerable. I got a week time to consider.
Was so happy after the chat. Moreover, the office connection was down and couldnt work much. Was disturbing others. Sky, Steven, Max and Jun too. She’s cute. We had fun.
She taught me,

make the hell out of sense

Laughed really a lot a lot. I was so happy, felt like a big burden was relieved. Is it because i finally told Ms Heng? or is it because I can leave CIS soon? Not too sure but something for sure is, I did nothing the whole day.
After work (or after a day of laughing), brought the china team to OUG Steven Corner.
Sky said i was indecisive. I was very angry because I remember someone did comment the same thing on me.
Really hate seeing Sky smoking. His look can be really deceiving. His attitude really gave me a shock. This little bro ain’t simple…Anyway, i am trying to treasure all the time to treat everyone good in the office. Gonna leave them…although only 3 months, but it was like 3 years working with them
Couldnt wait for the CNI team to return from India. Will miss David a lot.

sorry but that’s the fact. nothing can be done to rollback.
i was cruely hurt and mercilessly ‘slaughtered’ like an animal who cries for help but no one will want to listen. no one could listen…
now i got to stand up again by myself. i didnt expect anyone to come to my rescue and
no one will wan to rescue, no one could rescue…
i said, ‘i will hate you forever’…i mean it this time….i said it, i mean it and will act the same thing. sorry but i just realised, the more u approach me, trying to befriend with me again, the more i know i hate u.
I hate you even so when i realised, i started to hate her too.
i am getting annoyed and pissed off with myself too.
its really time for me to release myself from this hatred and anger.
let me go….

singapore should b a great training ground to learn of how to be a smart person.
today, told cassey that i’ll b leaving CIS. she told me many sweet words but i just dun believe her. i dun see myself able to catch up fast and doesnt really perform well. or mayb i have high expectation of myself.

about to hand in the letter to ms heng but she left when i was busy doing the db conversion. argh…but it could be something good cox i can just easily leave the letter on her table.
but tomolo will be a difficult day to face.

kinda like today’s horoscope…

Libra (Sep 24 – Oct 23) – You are in search of partners who are emotionally in tune with you. You want to accomplish great things, but need the assistance of loyal friends. You want love, friendship, success and progress.

Just received the offer letter. Weird, I am not happy at all.
In fact, some dissapointement and sadness.
Gotta leave my CIS fella

I will miss Ms.Heng, David, Cassey, Doris, HowSing, Ang, YienTing and Xiao Wu.
Xiao Wu finally got to work today. He is a very funny and nice guy. Bought us some foods from China. And keeps calling me,

? ? ?

But I’ll leave soon…couldnt go through the CNI war with them anymore.

In fact, I started to question myself whether its worth it let go something i like, just to TRY something else that I can’t foresee how it goes? Sniper asked a good question, am i looking for a way to escape? What I am escaping from? To escape from Ghost? escape from those friends who never really like me to be their frens?I answered him, I need to get more exposure, to broaden my horizon in life and to learn independant. Ya, that’s what I’ve been telling myself, but how exactly true is it? I am in dilemma again.

But, apart from this feeling, my innnerself is pretty confirmed that I will be going. Unless, unless I couldnt make it through the medical approval for the Employment Pass. Sis is right, should have get the pass before doing other arrangements. To get the permit is the first thing I need to do, or else the job offer will no longer valid. Shall ask them tomorrow.

HL asked me, how long will i be in Sg. I just realised, I never thought of this question. But, it should be that, I won’t come back again. I won’t switch from Sg to My anymore.