The discovery of a GHOST…

The discovery of a GHOST…

Still struggling over that matter but rather proud of myself that it’s no longer a torturing moment. The worst had just passed and i managed to overcome in just one and half day. In fact, I am really so regret that i spent the past 5 years, seeing a

GHOST

. Really feel that this is the most suitable word to represent him.

GHOST (n)
The spirit of a dead person, especially one believed to appear in bodily likeness to living persons or to haunt former habitats.
The center of spiritual life; the soul.
A demon or spirit.

10 reasons why he’s a ghost:
1) dead person, souless
2) haunt habitats
3) demon
4) ugly
5) cruel
6) scary
7) bloody
8) a zombie
9) noiseless
10) HE’s SUCKS!

Bee Ling Gave Birth @4th May 2005

Bee Ling Gave Birth @4th May 2005

Yes! She finally delivered her baby boy, but its a cesarean delivery.
Much ealier than the expected date but we were all very glad because that means she will be able to make it to Li San’s wedding dinner.
haha, really couldn’t imagine how she’ll look like carrying baby.
Oh…we are now officially AUNTIE! OMG…imagine,

……’boy, call Auntie Ongki’

We are no longer frens

We are no longer frens

1st May 05 – denotes the day we are not friends anymore.
I am very angry. And its really true that the difference between love and hatred is just a small tiny line.

hatred
n : the emotion of hate; a feeling of dislike so strong that it demands action [syn: hate] [ant: love]

Frankly,I have no reason to get angry and put the blame on him. What am i really angry about?
Angry at him for not loving me in return?
Angry for treating me as his friend only?
Angry for getting closer to me, but only as a fren?
Angry for not concern over me when I need him the most?
Angry for telling me that he will not appear whenever i appear?

I don’t care for which reason i am angry about, but i am like awake from a dream, awake from a nightmare. I will no longer shed any tears for him. I will not taking pills to get sleep at nite, so i dun have to think of him. I will no longer hate myself for loving him!

I really wan him to know, its his loss for not having me around him.
I told him, ‘i will hate you 4ever, i swear’.
I mean it, I really don’t wish to see him anymore, I don’t wish to hear even his name from now on.
I don’t care which gal he’s going out anymore, which gal is he sticking to, or which gal is he crying for anymore.
It’s really an ending between us, after 5 years knowing each other.
5 years….thats not too long, but it aint short. Too pity to let go the memories i have for him, but knowing that he never really appreciate it, i couldnt think any reason why should i keeping it in my head?
Well, one good thing from this is that, i know i have many frens around who really cares a lot about me. SY, CCY, CKY and especially SSCH. I shouldnt let them down, i shouldnt let the evil him took the angel me!
It is such a big world out there and I should not hide in this room and feel miserable everyday…

Tonite meeting PeiS, PeyS, CCY, CKY, AY … i was really happy.
I am glad i can laugh so well, laugh without forcing myself to.
I even announced to them that ONGKI is back! Dun care if they hear or not, it is me who is glad of myself.
So happy now, will sleep peacefully from tonight onwards.
HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!

I am lost

I am lost

25/4/2005 – denotes the first day of our ‘separation’.
Ashame of myself, I couldn’t even call it a break up.
But I claim it to be a ‘release’, although the consequences seems like killing more than helping me.
Did i do the right thing? I dunno but it seems like all negative signs shown to prove that he don’t deserve to have me even as his fren.
But i am very sad.

Ai Hen Jian Dan…..davidtao

Ai Hen Jian Dan…..davidtao

Forgotten how it started
Maybe it was just because I had some sort of feeling for you
And suddenly, I realized that I
Already love you deeply, really quite easilyAlready don’t mind love’s dark heaven and earth
Can’t choose between right and wrong
Have no regrets regarding the love I’ve already followed
That crazy person is me, oh…I love you, I can’t not love you baby
Say you love me too, ooh….
I love you, I’ll never be willing baby
To lose youCan’t be more happier, as long as we’re together
Doing anything is okay, though this world is always changing
I’ll use my most sincere heart to let love become easy

Already don’t mind love’s dark heaven and earth
Can’t choose between right and wrong
Have no regrets regarding the love I’ve already followed
That crazy person is me, oh…

I love you, I’ll always be here …
I’ll always love you
I love you, oh yes I do …
I’ll forever never let go of the right to love you

If you ever have any troubles, oh no …
Please come near my heart and listen, listen to me say I love you …
Yes I do, I love you

Friend’s Love – Twins

Friend’s Love – Twins

朋友的愛 – Twins

相識 文往 如果
很順利前行 是情人
相識 交往 如果
彼此也等多一等 逐漸變熟人

當初一衝動下 若果與你試著熱吻
今天應該不難和你 備受看好
就結婚 但是 此際
終於做了熟人 而我卻又等它發生

為甚麼只可跟你 維持朋友的愛
無人知偷偷約會 也會覺得不該
為甚麼只可給我 純情神聖的愛
為甚麼她比我遲到 卻勝出比賽

招呼 擁抱 明知
這擁抱出於好心 但亦算動人
必須等生日吧 或者你會送贈熱吻
空出一張嘴唇而你 在面頰邊 共我親
現在 的你
心中另有別人 而我卻是死不了心

為甚麼只可跟你 維持朋友的愛
無人知偷偷約會 也會覺得不該
為甚麼只可給我 純情神聖的愛
為甚麼她比我遲到 卻勝出比賽

為甚麼只可跟你 維持朋友的愛
言談間彼此對望 也會覺得不該
為甚麼相親相愛 仍然無法戀愛
為甚麼她不算朋友 卻更加可愛

——-

Friend’s Love – Twins

Acquaintance, knowing each other, if,
that can go smoothly, we’ll become lovers.
Acquaintance, knowing each other, if,
we both wait a little while, we’ll eventually become good friends.

A little impulsivein the beginning, if I tried kissing you,
maybe today it wouldn’t be hard with you, to be good to look at.
Then marriage, but, this way,
we’re already good friends, but I’m still waiting for it to happen.

Why can we only, maintain a friend’s relationship.
No one knows that secret meetings, should not be allowed.
Why is it only you that can give me, the innocent feeling of love.
Why is is that she came later than me, she still wins.

Greetings, embraces, already knowing,
that embrace came from a nice heart, but is still considered emotional.
Must wait till birthday, maybe you’ll kiss me as a present.
Leaving empty lips for you, by my cheeks, getting comfy.
Now, this you,
your heart has someone else, but my heart is still with you.

Why can we only, maintain a friend’s relationship.
No one knows that secret meetings, should not be allowed.
Why is it only you that can give me, the innocent feeling of love.
Why is is that she came later than me, she still wins.

Why can we only, maintain a friend’s relationship.
Talking sweetly and looking at each other, should not be allowed.
Why is it that loving each other, we’re not still in love.
Why is she not considered a friend, but is instead more cute.

lol. it’s not translated word by word…

in my pov, it’s like being really really good friends, like best friends with this guy, and you fall in love with him.
but then, you don’t tell him, cuz you don’t wanna ruin the relationship… that’s why you’re only friends.
this song is one of my favs by them… and the lyrics… i can so relate to.

Celebrating WLJ8411 & 6th Anniversary @Feeling

Celebrating WLJ8411 & 6th Anniversary @Feeling

26 March 2005 – Dinner @Kuala Selangor #sy, feli, ge and I

I think I managed to convince myself to be happy and bring laughters to others. Glad I made it. I am trying my very best to restore the *original* me, a happy-go-lucky, cheerful and positive me! I am very tired of being sad, painful, heart-broken and pretending.So regretted that I don’t save! Don’t even have extra money to get a HD, and I have no idea what caused my existing 40GB HD just say bye-bye like that. Suppose to get a new one at PC Fair, thinking of borrowing from parents but I know this is a bad habit. Will just live without PC until I get my salary 🙁
AS promised to change the casing for me, changing casing might not be too necessary actually but I am so sick of the casing unscrewable slots.

Spent the beginning of Sat as usual, eating pan mee and then went KLCC for treatments. At about 6.30pm, started the journey to Kepong and then fetch ge.
Guess what, the situation in the car is not bad at all! Everybody listens to LeoKKK, sings along, chat and laugh but there were a few seconds of sudden silence when someone made a mistake of calling the wrong names! I know, I just know, he’s there to reminiscing his good old days with his X.

Well, finally reached and had a good dinner, the *snail* (or watever it may called) is good and cost RM5 only wor..not bad, not bad…The porridge might not be a good one..tasteless and the seafood in it does not seems to enrich the taste of the porridge. A bit dissapointed 🙁

Left at about 10.30pm, speed up the way to catch up the 6th Anniversary @Feeling.

6th Anniversary at Feeling #ccy, ayat, achen, me + sy, feli, ge

Suppose to be 1st April but due to Chen’schedule, gotta make it few days earlier.
Its been a real long time since I went to Feeling. Glad Aldo(jen’s ai ren) was on the stage, but we don’t really spend time listening to them anyway. Hehe…pictures taking session and glad to see everyone’s in good spirit. A Yat announced he will start his Master at UPM later. Really envy him a lot. I wan to study too!
Ccy showed me the video clips she took with JY. I bet if JY is here, surely the feel will be so much ‘high’er and happier…I don’t miss her too much but I do miss those days we spent 7 yrs ago.

“Sepet” – Slitted Eyes

“Sepet” – Slitted Eyes

sepet

Aku mungkin faham mengapa filem ini dinamakan ‘Sepet’ tapi tidak mungkin selesa dengan nama ini. Filem ini mengisahkan realiti kehidupan rakyat Malaysia yang berbilang bangsa. Tapi, yang hairannya, kenapa orang yang menamakan filem ini tidak perasan bahawa perkataan ‘sepet’ sebenarnya seakan-akan satu perkataan Cina yang bermaksud lain, yang boleh membuat kawan-kawan Cina aku ketawa.

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