During lunch, a trusted colleague of mine commented that I am a 千手观音 (Thousand Arms Guan Yin).
I was quite puzzled and surprised for a while, but I didn’t ask him to elaborate what does that means, coz it’s quite obvious that is a negative feedback to me.
According to wikipedia, Amitabha appointed Guan Yin with thousand arms to help her to aid the people.
But how does that describe me? I asked myself. What is he trying to mean?
After a while, I think he was trying to say that I was delegating responsilities out, without doing myself. 🙁
Or, I wasn’t contributing as much as I am suppose to be.
The whole day, I was quite taken aback by this but since I believe he is someone whom can be trusted and not trying to create conflicts or not those kind of ppl who simply give comments, I actually point the finger back to myself. What did I do or what didn’t I do that is causing people to describe me like that?
I think it is quite true, from his point of view, I didn’t help him as much as he expects.
But isn’t he aware that I am engaged in another new project and I too, was struggling with my role to train the newcomer?
I did take up new initiatives, tried to make decisions and was trying to create standard here and there to drive the team to achieve our number one goal, to achieve zero bug and quality system…also to ease his job, didn’t I?
Ever since I found the FIRE button in me, I have been building up my confidence, telling myself to voice out loud and defense what should be and what shouldn’t be.
I have been against most of the people, but everytime before I voice out my opinion, I asked myself three times, ‘…Is what I am going to reply them make sense?’.
Once I answered myself YES for three times, I will go ahead with my decision and idea.
Sometimes, I am too lazy to explain, and just say NO to them. Haha…
However, I should ‘stand on the table’ to see things from different angle.
Maybe he is right, I need to do more than what I am doing.
So starting from last evening, I listed all that I have promised that I will do.
Also will start to do what he expect me to do more…
No pain, no gain. I am sure my effort today will be appreciated some day later.
So then, out of curiosity, I draw to visualise how do I look like with thousand arms,